Happy Endings
by B2017
Summary: "Happiness can be found in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light." She's drowning, and just maybe he'll be the one to rescue her. (Severide X OC)
1. Chapter 1

_Authors Note: Firstly, thanks for reading. This is the first story I've written for Chicago Fire so some feedback would be appreciated. Secondly, I'll admit I'm a bit late to the part on this one, I've not long ago started watching so I'm only up to the second season. For this reason, I apologise if this doesn't fit with anything that happens in later seasons. I may well come back and edit this a bit as I catch up._

* * *

Chapter One

Casey was talking to him, he was vaguely aware of the words in the background, but Kelly would be lying if he said he was paying attention. He hadn't heard a word Matt had said. His attention had been rather diverted by the woman who'd just walked into the bar and sat down a couple of stools down from Matt.

"Kelly!" Matt jabbed at his shoulder.

"What?" He tore his eyes away from her and looked at his friend. "I was listening, I promise."

Matt just rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I bet you were." He twisted in his seat to try and work out what had captured his friend's attention. His eyes quickly followed his friends gaze and landed on the brunette sat the bar. "Of course." He sighed.

Kelly waved at Gabby and she quickly brought him another beer. Matt rolled his eyes at her as Kelly slid off the barstool. "I'll talk to you about this later Casey?" He said although they both knew he wasn't really asking.

"Fine." Matt groaned. There was no point trying to talk to his friend when he'd got his eye and mind on something else. This was exactly where that infamous Severide reputation has come from.

"Where's he off too?" Gabby asked.

"Where do you think?" Matt raised an eyebrow at her as Kelly slid onto the empty stool next to the woman.

"Ah... of course." Gabby nodded. "So much for him keeping you company for the night then?"

"Yeah." Matt sighed. "I don't think I'll be welcome over there." He laughed.

She nodded in agreement. "I'll ask Herman if I can leave a bit earlier tonight." She disappeared back down to the other end of the bar; leaving Matt to finish his drink, watching as his friend deployed the infamous Kelly Severide charm.

"Can I buy you a drink?" Kelly asked, sliding into the seat next to her.

She turned to face him, a smile crossing her face as her hazel eyes locked with his for a moment. "I don't know... can you?"

"I'm Kelly." He smiled. "Kelly Severide."

"Amber." She replied, taking a mouthful of her wine.

"I've not seen you in here before?"

"You some sort of detective or something?" She asked, draining the rest of her wine glass.

"Fireman." He told her proudly. "What do you do?"

She hesitated for a moment, a slow smile spreading across her face. "I'll tell you what... if you can guess, I'll buy you a drink."

He grinned back at her. "Okay then..." he studied her face closely for a moment, as though it might give him some kind of a clue. Her cheeks flushed as his eyes slowly worked their way down, taking in her slightly dishevelled hair, the slight bump of her nose and lingering on her lips for a moment longer than necessary. "Teacher...?" He guessed although he wasn't entirely sure why he picked that one out of all of the ideas in his head.

She laughed. "I take back what I said about you being a detective then."

"I was wrong?" He asked, pretending to look horrified.

She laughed quietly. "I don't think I'd be a very good teacher. I've not got even half the patience you need to do that."

"Does this mean I owe you a drink then?" He asked.

She nodded. "I believe that was the deal..."

She watched him as he leaned forward on the bar, getting the attention of the bartender. The ripple of his muscles under his shirt as he moved didn't escape her notice. Maybe this new start in Chicago might not be all that bad if all the men looked like him...

"So." He turned on his chair again to look at her, handing her another glass of wine. "Are you going to tell me what you do? Or do I just have to keep guessing all night?"

She grinned at him. "I don't know... the idea of keeping you guessing does sound kind of fun." She took a sip of wine. "But... as you're way off base and we don't have all night I probably ought to tell you."

"Who says we don't have all night?" Kelly asked, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

"Me." She laughed. "As much fun as this is, I have to be at work super early tomorrow and I can't let you get me drunk... I feel like you would if I stayed here all night."

"You're probably right." He laughed. "So then... this mysterious job...?"

She laughed. "Nothing mysterious about it really, you're just really bad at guessing... I'm a doctor."

"Ah... I should've guessed." He was a little disappointed he hadn't included that in one of his guesses. "At Med?" He asked.

She nodded.

"I'm surprised our paths haven't crossed." He commented.

"Why? Are you a regular patient? Should I be worried." She raised an eyebrow at him. "You trying to buy me with wine to get preferential treatment?"

He laughed. "If I'd guessed your job right then maybe... but I think we both know that wasn't why I came over here."

Her cheeks flushed again. "Seriously though, it's my first week. You'd better not come in and start causing trouble." She joked.

"I'll do my best... it's a dangerous line of work though. I'm not planning on getting injured again any time soon." He smiled.

"Well, that's good... If you get yourself injured you won't be able to take me out to dinner." She winked, finishing the last of her wine.

He wondered for a moment if he'd heard her right, a grin spreading across his face. "I'm pretty sure that's something I can manage."

"I'd like that." She smiled, pulling a pen out of her bag and scrawling her number on a napkin. "I'll see you around Kelly." She pressed her lips to his cheek quickly, inhaling the smell of his cologne. She jumped off the stool and was at the door before he moved.

His eyes followed her to the door as she left, then he saw Matt and Gabby laughing at him. "What?" He asked, moving back to his seat next to Matt again.

"The old Severide charm not working for you any more buddy?" Gabby laughed.

"What do you mean?" He looked at Matt who was trying not to laugh.

"I've never seen a girl hightail it out of here so fast after you bought her a drink," Matt said, trying to control his laughter.

"Who said the Severide charm doesn't work?" He asked, the napkin with her number on dangling from his fingers like a prize.

Gabby groaned. "They fall for it every time... every single time." She'd lost count of how many women she'd watched Kelly pick up since they'd opened Molly's. None of them ever lasted longer than a couple of weeks.

"Hey!" Kelly protested. "That was uncalled for. I like this one!"

"You said that about the last one... what was her name? Laura? Lara?" Gabby shot back at him.

"Lauren." Kelly corrected. He was entirely sure it was correct but he wasn't about to admit that to Gabby.

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes at him. "Good luck to her, that's what I say."

* * *

The worst part of starting in a new hospital was the fact she was constantly getting lost. She'd had her induction and been given a tour and at the time the hospital layout seemed to make sense. She was confident she'd be able to find her way around without the map they'd given her so she'd tossed it in the trash like an idiot. Now she was stood in the stairwell being paged to a department she had no idea how to find. So much for first impressions and all that. She scanned the map on the wall that was supposed to be for patients, finally figuring out where she was supposed to be going before jogging up another three flights of stairs to go and see her patient.

When she emerged from the patient's room half an hour later she was feeling rather pleased with herself. Crisis successfully averted, it was nearly lunchtime. She was nearly halfway through her first proper day and she hasn't had any major disasters. She checked the map on the wall again, heading in what she hoped was going to be the direction of the canteen to find some food.

Halfway there her phone rang with a call from a number she didn't recognise. She braced herself for a moment before she answered it, praying it wasn't going to be another one of her residents. She'd been a little bit too on the friendly and approachable side when she'd introduced herself to them because they'd been calling her up every five minutes to ask her questions.

"Dr Wright." She answered, trying to keep the exasperation out of her voice. She must remember to at least partially terrify the residents and interns next time she started a new job... although she was hoping there wasn't going to be another next time any time soon.

"Oh... I..." the man on the other end of the phone stuttered for a moment. "Is that Amber?"

"Mmm." She nodded, balancing the phone between her shoulder and her chin as she reached to get a sandwich off the shelf. "It is."

"Oh good, great. It's Kelly. Kelly Severide." He sounded almost nervous.

There was silence on her end for a moment.

"From the bar the other night..." he added for clarification.

"Oh, I know who you are." She added quickly. "You just took me by surprise."

"Oh really." He grinned.

She paused for a second to pay the cashier for her sandwich, heading back to the door to try and remember which direction exactly led to her office. "I wasn't convinced you'd actually call me."

"Why's that?" He asked.

She hesitated for a moment, then decided to be honest. "You hear things in the hospital, the nurses like to gossip. Let's just say the great Kelly Severide has quite the reputation around here it would seem."

He cringed. Should have seen that one coming really. "I've changed... it sounds cliche but seriously... that's not me anymore."

She was quiet for a moment. This hadn't really been a part of the plan, getting involved with anything other than work. She didn't know why she'd given him her number, she shouldn't have done really. Or let him buy her that drink. But he was attractive and seemed like a genuinely nice guy, he's caught her when her guard was down.

"I can prove it to you." He persisted. He wasn't sure why it bothered him what this woman thought of him, after all, he barely knew her. It did though, and he wanted to prove her wrong.

"What?" She hadn't been listening, suddenly deep in thought about the promise she'd made herself when she left Florida that she'd just focus on her work and avoid getting involved in any messy complicated situations involving men.

"I'll prove it to you... just have dinner with me... tonight?" He asked hopefully.

She laughed quietly. "You're keen."

"I like you." He said simply, as though there were nothing more to it. "I'm not hearing a no from you either."

"Okay." She agreed although this was the complete opposite of what she'd agreed with herself. "I've gotta go. Text me the details?" The odds were she'd have some kind of patient emergency to deal with later and she'd end up cancelling on him at the last minute later anyway, she reasoned to try and reassure herself she hasn't just done something terrible. And if not... she'd call it fate and she'd be going out for dinner with a handsome fireman. There were worse ways to spend an evening.

"What will be will be." She muttered quietly, suddenly realising that she'd managed it successfully navigate her way back to her office.

* * *

As it turned out, she finished work on time, her afternoon being completely free from anything that could vaguely resemble an emergency. As a result, she hadn't been able to see any reason not to go to meet with Kelly, he'd sent her the address of a bar a couple of blocks away not long after she'd spoken to him at lunch. It looked nice enough, he seemed nice and she decided that for once in her life she'd just go for it.

That was all very well, but she was now stood in her apartment, wrapped in a towel with her hair dripping wet, wondering which one the many boxes she was yet to unpack might contain either a hairdryer or some clothes that might be passable to wear on a date. Somehow, she didn't think scrubs would be acceptable.

She eventually found a pair of light jeans and a black top that she was sure she hadn't worn in years and was much tighter than she would've liked. She'd run out of time to look for anything else though so it was going to have to do. She quickly blow-dried her hair into submission, slapped on just enough makeup to hide the bags under her eyes, grabbed her heels and ran out of the door.

She ended up having to power walk a couple of blocks to the restaurant to get there on time, something which made her regret her choice in footwear. She shivered and pulled her jacket close around her. Despite the workout, she'd got dashing to the restaurant she was freezing. She was certainly going to have to invest in some warmer clothes for the winter in Chicago.

The bar was packed when she walked in, but she quickly spotted him sitting at a table just inside the door. He jumped up as he saw her, pulling her in for a hug and kissing her cheek. "Hey, it's good to see you."

"Sorry, I'm late." She tried to steady her breathing so she didn't sound like she'd just run a marathon. She was going to have to get back in the gym too. "Took me a lot longer to walk here than I thought."

"You walked?" He looked slightly horrified as he sat down opposite her. "You crazy or something? It's freezing out there."

She laughed quietly. "Yeah, I kinda forgot that it's a lot colder here than in Florida."

"You're from Florida?" He raised an eyebrow. "I'm surprised you didn't freeze to death."

"It was close." She joked, taking the glass of wine he passed across the table to her. "Thank you."

"So… What made you want to move up here?" He asked curiously.

She laughed quietly, sipping at her drink. That certainly wasn't going to be something she was getting into with him tonight. "Fancied a change of scenery." She shrugged, quickly changing the subject. "You lived here your whole life?"

He nodded. "Grew up here, I can tell you from my years of experience you're going to need a thicker coat and a decent pair of boots." He laughed, looking at her thin jacket and her heels.

"Noted." She laughed. "If you're quite finished laughing at my unpreparedness…."

He held his hands up in mock surrender. "Okay, okay… I'm sorry."

"You will be." She winked. "So then, tell me about the infamous Kelly Severide."

He groaned. He didn't even want to think about what she might've heard. "Who told you what?"

She laughed. "It wasn't even all that bad, I was joking… although from the look on your face maybe I should be worried after all."

He breathed a quiet sigh of relief. "I'm not saying I'm an angel now, but…"

"We've all been there." She shrugged, not entirely wanting to think back to her not too distant past.

"You still came… should I take that as a good sign?" He asked nervously.

She laughed. "I don't know anyone around here, an evening out with a fireman to tell me all kinds of stories sounded too good to miss. Besides… you're pretty easy on the eye too." She winked.

"So then… a doctor… you must have some stories to tell?" He asked, leaning towards her slightly.

She nodded in agreement, her smile matching his. "Neurosurgeon technically….Where do you want me to start?" She grinned.

* * *

It was just after midnight when they left the bar, she'd only been intending to stay for an hour but she'd lost track of time. She thought that she had some funny stories from work, but Kelly's had topped hers and then some. She shivered as the icy cold air hit her, pulling her jacket closer.

"Come on, let me drive you home?" Kelly suggested quickly. He pointed at his car that had been parked just outside.

"I'm not going to argue, it's freezing out here." She struggled to stop her teeth chattering. "I'm going to buy warmer clothes first thing tomorrow."

"Come on then, before you freeze to death." He laughed, opening the car door for her. She quickly slid into the seat, teeth still chattering. It wasn't any warmer in his car but at least it would be quicker.

She suddenly realised she wasn't entirely sure which way he needed to go, but thankfully he knew where she meant when she gave him the address. They were pulling up outside her building a couple of minutes later and she couldn't help but feel disappointed. For all her anxiety and doubts about going, she'd had a really good time and wasn't ready for it to be over.

"I um.. I had a really good time tonight." She mumbled, not sure what to say. "Thank you."

"We should do it again sometime?" He suggested.

"We should…" She hesitated for a moment. "You don't have to go just yet…you could come in for a bit."

He didn't answer straight away.

"You don't have to… Forget I said anything, I should go." She said quickly.

He grabbed her hand as she reached for the door handle. "Yeah, I'd love to."

He climbed out of the car and followed her up to the door.

She hesitated for a moment as she put the key in the lock. "I probably should've mentioned that I haven't got any furniture yet." She told him, unlocking the door.

He laughed. "Nothing?"

"Well, I've got flat packs… I just haven't got round to building any of it yet." She explained. "But… I do have beer."

"Sounds okay to me then." He smiled, following her inside.

With him stood beside her she became aware of quite how bare her apartment was. "Sorry… I haven't done much unpacking at all." She headed to the fridge and pulled out two beers, handing one to him.

"No need to apologise." He smiled, leaning against the kitchen counter. "You any good at building furniture? It might take you a while if not." He raised an eyebrow at the huge stack of boxes piled up waiting to be built.

"I don't think so." She pulled a face. "I've never actually tried. Jack built everything in our last place."

"Jack? Is this the mysterious ex?" He asked. It hadn't escaped his notice the way she'd quite quickly changed the subject whenever he'd asked her something about before she moved to Chicago.

"Yep." She answered, taking a swig of beer. "Anyway… We don't need to talk about him."

Kelly would've been lying if he said it didn't make him curious, but he didn't push any further. Instead, he set down his beer and walked towards the pile of boxes.

"What are you doing?" She asked trailing behind him.

"I was going to see if I could put one together." He explained, as though it was the most obvious thing ever.

"I didn't ask you up here to build my furniture." She laughed. "It's gone midnight."

"What did you have in mind?" He asked she looked at him suggestively, answering his questions without actually speaking. "Well…" He looked at the instructions. "This will take like fifteen minutes… Then you'll have a coffee table and we'll still have plenty of time for whatever you've got planned." He smirked.

"Well… In which case I'm not going to stop you." She grinned, sitting cross-legged on the floor and watching him. True to his word, fifteen minutes later he was proudly showing her the coffee table that now stood in the middle of the room.

"I'm impressed Severide… You're a handy man to have around." She grinned at him, taking a step closer to him. There was barely half a step between them now, she could feel his breath on her neck.

"I did try and tell you." He joked, leaning towards her. "So, remind me… what was it you had planned for after I'd finished building your furniture?"

She placed her beer down on the new coffee table and grinned at him, taking another half step forward, her hands coming to rest on his chest. He looked down at her, his eyes twinkling as his hands wrapped around her waist. She stretched on to her toes, now she'd taken her heels off her was quite a bit taller than her, and pressed her lips to his.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

It had finally happened, she'd lost her first patient since moving to Chicago. It was going to happen at some point, she wasn't stupid. It was a high-risk surgery and she'd known what the odds were going in. It didn't stop it from physically knocking the wind out of her lungs when she realised there was nothing else they could do. She'd called time of death and hightailed it out of the OR back to her office, looking for somewhere she could at least have a cry about it in private.

Anna Palmer. That was the name of the eighteen-year-old girl who had just died on her table. She was young, full of promise and had all kinds of plans for the future. She'd been hit by a drunk driver in the middle of the afternoon as she walked down the street with her friends. The resulting brain bleed had meant she never really stood a chance.

It wasn't until she got halfway to her office that she realised that she was going to have to go and tell the girls parents. The knot in her stomach twisted and for a moment she thought she might be sick. She'd done it hundreds of times in her years on the job, but it never got any easier and she could still remember the face of every single relative she'd broken the devastating news to.

She wiped her eyes roughly as she walked down the hall, heading for the waiting room. She'd retreat to the safety of her office to cry about it after she'd told the girls parents. They had to be her priority for now. She was halfway down the hallway when a familiar voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Hey Amber, wait up!" She turned around to see Kelly jogging down the hall towards her. "I was on my way to your office to look for you."

"Hi." She croaked. "Um... now is really not a good time Kelly." She glanced over her shoulder. "I've got to um..."

"Got to what?" He frowned at her, looking disappointed.

"I just lost an eighteen-year-old on the table. She was hit by a drunk driver and I've now got to tell her parents." She blurted out. "So I'm sorry you had a wasted trip, but I can't do this now." She turned away and dashed off before he had a chance to say anything else. She knew he'd understand if she gave him the chance, in his line of work he would've been through more or less the same experience and he would know how much it hurt, but she didn't have it in her to discuss quite how awful it was with him right now.

She didn't look back to see the way he stood in the corridor, watching her quickly disappear around the corner. It hadn't occurred to her that he'd care. She'd heard all about the infamous Kelly Severide and his reputation. They'd been getting on great and it had been a lot of fun over the past few weeks, but she was careful not to let herself get too attached. No matter how she felt, she was always going to be just a bit of fun for him. She had baggage, and a whole lot of it too, and even if he was prepared for something more, she wasn't ready to get her heart broken into a thousand pieces again. It was much easier to keep her distance and think of it as a bit of harmless fun.

LINE BREAK.

Amber did eventually make it home, twenty-six hours after she'd first left for work. She was dead on her feet and barely able to make it up the steps to the front door. Her phone was dead, her feet hurt and she was hungry. The idea of cooking was all a bit too much though and in reality, all she was going to do was collapse into bed and sleep with the rather depressing knowledge that she had to be back at work in a little under eight hours.

She grabbed her phone, which had long since run out of charge, and plugged it in beside the bed. She now had a bedside table to put it on thanks to Kelly's flat-pack building services. Heading into the bathroom she stripped out of her scrubs, having not bothered to change before she left work, and stepped into a scalding hot shower as though it might somehow wash the stresses of the day off her.

Fifteen minutes later she emerged into the much cooler air of her bedroom, pulled on her pyjamas and climbed into bed. She already knew it was pointless, her mind was racing way too fast to allow for anything close to a restful sleep. Her phone buzzed on the nightstand, having now recovered enough battery to tell her what she'd missed during the hours it had been dead. She picked it up and squinted at the overly bright screen. A missed call and a message from her Mom, the only thing she missed about Florida, and a couple of texts from Kelly. After firing a quick message back to her mum assuring her that she was fine, just busy at work and she'd call her tomorrow she opened the messages from Kelly.

_'Sorry if it was a bad time earlier. Just wanted to check you're okay?'_

_'Amber, I'm worried about you. Just let me know you're okay?'_

There were six hours between the two messages. She glanced at the time and saw it was half-past two in the morning. If she texted him back now he wouldn't see it until the morning, there was very little chance of her having to speak to him.

_'Sorry, it's been a bit of a day. Are you okay? I realise I never asked what you were doing at the hospital earlier?' _She replied.

The three little dots appeared at the bottom of the screen, indicating he was typing, almost immediately.

_'We were just passing. Thought I'd drop in. Are you sure you're okay?'_

She started to answer him. '_No. I'm not. I just keep thinking about her. I could've done something different maybe, then she might still be here.'_ She paused for a moment, then deleted the whole message. This wasn't their deal. She didn't know exactly what their deal was, but it was fun and easy. He didn't need to listen to her having some kind of existential crisis. She set the phone back on the nightstand and turned over, willing herself to go to sleep.

* * *

He laid on his bed in his quarters staring at his phone. The three little dots had appeared, then promptly disappeared. He'd been staring at the screen ever since, although at this point it was clear she wasn't going to say whatever it was she had been going to. The entire firehouse was quiet around him. They'd been back from their last call for a bit over an hour and everyone had taken the opportunity to catch some much-needed sleep. Kelly has dozed for a bit but found himself unable to sleep as he wondered if she was okay. She'd looked so lost as she'd walked away from him in the hospital earlier.

He wasn't entirely sure if it was her place to keep checking on her. She'd looked so baffled to see him stood in the hospital earlier like it was an entirely foreign concept to think that he might just want to drop in to see her. He wanted to talk to her, ask her what was going on and if he'd done something wrong. He hadn't been joking when he told her he wasn't the same Kelly Severide who'd had an endless stream of short flings. He genuinely liked her, he'd kept offering to go over to hers and help her with her unpacking and building furniture as an excuse to spend time with just the two of them. He'd run out of furniture to build now, her apartment finally resembling a place inhabited by someone, and she'd taken him out to dinner to say thank you. They'd ended up in her bed again that evening, but the next morning she'd dashed out the door to work before he'd even properly woken up. He'd been left alone in her apartment wondering exactly what was going on, so when Squad has driven back past the hospital on the way back to the firehouse he'd persuaded them to stop so he could go and talk to her quickly. He finally understood why he'd been quite so unpopular with the stream of women he'd done this to. It was a horrible feeling not knowing where he stood.

He needed to speak to her at some point and get some clarification on where they stood before he let himself get too invested. Although it dawned on him, it might already be a bit too late for that. He just kept picturing the look on her face as she'd turned away from him in the hospital. He needed to know she was okay.

He quickly dialled her number, hoping that given she'd been texting him five minutes ago she wouldn't be asleep and he wouldn't be waking her up.

* * *

She answered the phone on auto-pilot when she heard it buzzing on the nightstand, half expecting it to be work. "Hello?" She mumbled.

"Amber it's me." He said quickly. She sounded half asleep and he instantly regretted his decision to call her. He should've waited until the morning.

"Kelly... it's like three in the morning?" She sounded confused.

"I know, I'm sorry. You were texting a few minutes ago and I thought you'd still be awake. I can call you back in the morning. I'm sorry." He apologised quickly.

"No." She said. "It's fine. I can't sleep anyway." She'd got as far as closing her eyes but her mind just kept repeating the surgery over and over again looking for mistakes. There was very little point trying to sleep when she was like this.

"What's up?" He asked, changing tactic. If he asked if she was okay he'd just get a yes, even though she quite clearly wasn't okay.

"Just thinking about work." She answered quietly. "Why are you calling me in the middle of the night Kelly?"

He hesitated for a moment. "We had a call out, house fire. We've only been back for an hour and I can't sleep. I've been worried about you all afternoon, just thought why not give you a call and make sure you're okay."

"That's sweet." She answered cautiously. "I'm fine Kelly. I can take care of myself. I've been doing it for a while."

He felt his heart sink, she didn't want to talk to him. "Oh. Okay... if you're alright then I should probably go."

She was quiet for a moment. "Okay, be safe." She told him.

"You too." He replied, disconnecting the call.

She laid there for a moment, staring at the ceiling. She'd been harsh. He'd done nothing but be lovely and try and look out for her. That was exactly the problem though. She was in danger of developing some very real feelings, and that left the potential for her to her hurt if it didn't work out. It was way easier to just push him away. He'd move on, and by all accounts, there was very little chance of him reciprocating those feelings. It wasn't his style, and it wasn't his fault she wasn't able to do something like that.

* * *

She was still at work late the next evening. She was exhausted but her surgery had run long and the patient was far from stable. She'd decided it made more sense to hang around in her office and catch up on some paperwork than to go all the way home only to be rushing back if something happened and she was needed.

A knock on the door made her look up from the notes she was writing. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't surprised to see Kelly Severide stood nervously in the doorway. "Can I come in?" He asked.

She nodded. "Everything okay?"

"I come bearing gifts." He smiled, putting a coffee cup down on her desk.

"Thank you, I appreciate it." She smiled softly, taking the cup. "What are you doing here? Everything okay?" She couldn't see why he'd be hanging around the hospital at this time of night if there wasn't an issue.

He nodded. "I just wanted to talk to you. I did try calling." He suddenly felt awkward now he was sitting there in front of her.

She opened the door drawer of her desk and fished out her phone. The screen displayed that she had two missed calls from him. "Sorry. I had a surgery and I left it in here."

"It's okay." He smiled. "Did it go okay?"

She nodded. "I'm just hanging around doing the paperwork for a couple of hours to make sure nothing goes wrong. I don't want to have to rush back here later. I haven't bought a car yet and it's not that easy to get a cab at 4 in the morning."

"If I did something... or said something... I'm sorry." He blurted out, unable to hold back the real reason for dropping in on her like this any longer.

"What?" She looked at him baffled.

"It's just that, I um... I really like you." He muttered, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "This sounds paranoid but I feel a bit like you've been pushing me away the last couple of weeks."

She took a sip of her coffee, trying to buy herself some time. "I'm sorry Kelly. I probably should've just spoken to you." She sighed eventually.

"If you don't feel the same that's fine. It's been good fun and all that." He added. "I just... well, I'd like us to at least be able to be friends?"

"It's not that I don't feel the same way." The words came out of her mouth before she could stop them.

He sat up a little straighter in the chair, a smile playing on the corners of his mouth. "But...?" He asked when she didn't elaborate.

"But..." she said slowly. "I'm not ready to get my heart broken again." She explained quietly. She'd learned her lesson with Jack, well and truly. She wasn't going to put herself in a position where someone could hurt her like that again.

"Again?" Kelly questioned, looking at her curiously.

She took a deep breath. "Some um... some stuff happened in Florida. That's why I left. This was supposed to be a new start for me. I told myself I was just going to focus on my job. It's easier that way."

"Oh." His face fell again.

She took a deep breath. "And then I met you in the bar that night... and now I don't know what I want. I thought I could do a bit of harmless fun with no feelings attached. I think I was probably wrong."

He was quiet for a moment, slowly extending his hand across the table until he could interlink his fingers with hers. "You know it's okay not to know exactly what it is you want right now." He said softly. "It's just that if you're willing to give me a chance, I'd like to see where this goes?" The truth was she was the first woman in a long time that he was interested in actually spending time with and talking to. The rest had been a steady stream of friends with benefits and one night stands. Yes, the sex had been incredible but there was no kind of connection, no potential for more. Whereas with Amber, he was seeing something else entirely.

"I don't want you to end up getting hurt, Kelly. I'm a bit of a mess." She warned.

"Aren't we all?" He joked.

They sat there in silence for a moment, fingers still interlaced over the table. "I should probably go check on my patient and then head home." She yawned.

Kelly nodded. "I can drive you if you like? I don't mind waiting."

She was about to turn him down, then thought better of it. "I'd like that." She smiled, reaching for her stethoscope and hanging it around her neck. She picked up her bag and coat. "Walk up to ICU with me? We can leave from there then." She suggested.

"Sounds good." He smiled, following her out into the empty hallway, the hospital long since having emptied of everyone who wasn't working a night shift. "Weren't you supposed to be buying a new coat? One that might stop you freezing to death?" He asked, seeing she still had the same coat that she'd worn when they went out that first night.

"You caught me. I haven't had time." She sighed. "Day off tomorrow so maybe I'll finally make it to the store."

"I'll remind you." He laughed. "Don't want you getting sick."

She stopped, smiling at him, as they reached the doors to ICU. "Can you wait here. I'll just check in on him, I'll be ten minutes and then we can go."

He nodded in agreement. "Go, do your thing."

"Do you mind holding these a sec?" She asked apologetically palming her bag and coat off on him.

He took them from her and watched for a second as she disappeared through the doors. As the door closed behind her, her phone started ringing loudly in her jacket pocket. Kelly quickly fished it out, the noise seeming far too loud for the deadly silent corridor of the hospital.

"Hello?" He answered in a hushed voice. He'd take a message quickly and she could call them back.

"Who's that? Why are you answering Amber's phone?" A gruff voice on the other end demanded.

"She's with a patient. She left her bag with me. Do you want me to ask her to call you back?" Kelly offered politely.

"You're sleeping with her, aren't you?" The man on the phone asked. "I knew she was cheating on me."

"Cheating on you?" Kelly asked. "Who is this?"

"I'm her husband. I think I should be asking who the hell are you?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"What've you got?" Amber asked, skidding into the ER having just run all the way there. She'd been paged for an emergency, except they seemed to be missing a patient for her to work on.

"Two minutes out." The nurse explained. "Firefighter. Severe head injury."

Amber felt her heart stop for a moment. She hadn't spoken to Kelly all week. He'd gone quiet on her as he'd driven her home the other night, refused to come in when she'd invited him and then disappeared. She'd called him a couple of times but had nothing back. What if something had happened to him?

"Do you know which house he's from?" She asked, not entirely sure she wanted to know.

The nurse looked confused for a moment but answered her anyway. "51 I think." She shrugged, the approaching wail of sirens indicating the arrival of the ambulance.

As she saw a flash of blonde hair on the gurney that was being unloaded Amber let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding. It wasn't Kelly, but it was one of his colleagues and had a serious head injury. She quickly listened to the details from the paramedics as they wheeled him through and transferred him onto a bed.

"Matt? Can you hear me?" She tried again, getting no response. She quickly grabbed the torch out of the pocket of her lab coat and checked his pupils. "I want a CT head ASAP." She told the nurse. "Page me as soon as the results are back."

The nurse nodded in agreement with what she said and Amber quickly ducked out of the room. There were enough other people in there trying to deal with the rest of his injuries. She couldn't do anything until they had the CT results so there was no point her getting in the way.

She ducked off round the corner, pulling out her phone to call Kelly, only to find she'd already got two missed calls from him.

He answered on the first ring. "Amber, it Matt." He said quickly, not even bothering with a hello.

"I know, I've just seen him." She explained.

"We're all here, in the waiting room," Kelly told her. "Can I see him?"

"No." She answered. "Hang on, I'll come and find you."

She disconnected the call and walked down the hallway, managing to attract Kelly's attention from a way back so she didn't get bombarded with questions she couldn't answer by the rest of them. It looked as though the whole of 51 had taken over the waiting room.

"Hey." She breathed a sigh of relief seeing with her own eyes that he was okay. He was still dressed in all his gear, face black from the smoke but she couldn't see a mark on him. "Is everyone else okay?"

He nodded. "It's just Matt... he um... he went back for the baby. Boden told him to get out but he went anyway. How is he?"

"I'm sending him up for a CT. I won't know anything until then." She explained. She had her suspicions about what the CT would show but they weren't positive and she wasn't about to share them with Kelly.

"You'll take good care of him?" Kelly asked, looking at her with his face full of worry.

She took his hand, squeezing it gently. "I promise." She said softly. "He's in good hands."

Her pager went off, the shrill beeping cutting Kelly off before he could speak. "Matt?" He asked. Her entire body had gone rigid and he could see the look of concern on her face.

"No." She'd always been a terrible liar. "I've got to go through. I'll come to find you later." She squeezed his arm quickly and then turned and walked quickly back down the hallway. Once she rounded the corner and was out of his line of sight she started running, trying to get to the OR as fast as her legs would carry her.

* * *

When she returned to the waiting room almost five hours later Kelly nearly didn't recognise her. The lab coat and smart clothes were replaced by dark blue scrubs, her hair scraped back and covered by a floral print scrub cap. She looked at him wearily, waving him over. He jumped to his feet, feeling the eyes of the rest of 51 on him.

"How is he?" He asked, his voice hushed as he tried to read her face for some kind of insight.

"He's out of surgery." She explained. "They're taking him up to ICU now. He's stable for now but.."

"But?" Kelly looked at her.

"It's a serious head injury." She explained slowly. "There's no real way of knowing until he wakes up what the damage is."

"When will he wake up?" Kelly asked.

"I'm keeping him sedated for now, probably until the morning. His brain needs time to heal." She explained.

"Can Dawson go and see him?" Kelly asked, glancing over at Gabby who was pacing anxiously back and forth in the waiting room.

Amber nodded. "He's unconscious, but she can sit with him if she would like."

"Gabby," Kelly called. "Thanks." He said quickly, turning to Amber and smiling at her.

Gabby's head snapped up and she quickly walked over to where Kelly and Amber were standing.

"This is Amber... I mean Dr Wright." Kelly corrected himself quickly. "She's going to take you to Matt."

"Come on." Amber smiled. "Speak to you later?" She said hopefully, looking at Kelly.

He nodded. "Yeah, thanks. For everything."

Gabby walked along beside her silently for a moment, heading to the ICU. Then it dawned on her. "You're the girl from the bar the other night!"

"What?" Amber looked at her nervously.

"Severide. He was supposed to be having drinks with Casey and bailed on him to chat to this woman at the bar. It was you wasn't it?" Gabby asked.

Amber nodded hesitantly, not sure where this was going. "Yeah."

"Well, whatever you've been doing- Severide's been a lot happier these last couple of weeks."

Amber didn't answer her, just quietly taking the statement in and wondering what it meant. She showed Gabby through into Matt's room. "I'll be back to check on him later. Call a nurse if you need anything." She instructed, giving Gabby a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder as she settled into the chair next to Matt's bed. After lingering for a moment Amber headed back to her office.

She sat herself down at her desk, preparing herself for a long night. She'd put it as nicely as she could to Kelly and Gabby, but in reality, Matt was lucky to be alive, and she'd be surprised if he made it through the night without something happening.

She'd been sitting there for a little while, contemplating having a nap on the sofa, when the door opened.

"Hey," Kelly said softly, stepping inside and closing the door behind him.

"Everything okay?" She asked, struggling to stifle a yawn. "How's Matt?"

"I left Gabby with him." He explained, sitting down opposite her. "Thank you for earlier."

"Just doing my job." She shrugged.

Kelly sat there for a moment, looking at her and she could see him trying to make his mind up what to say.

"What is it, Kelly?" She asked.

He was quiet for a moment. "Were you going to tell me you're married?" He blurted out suddenly.

She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting him to say, but it certainly wasn't that. "What?" She gawped at him.

"When I gave you a lift home the other night and you left your stuff with me. Your phone rang and I answered it." He explained.

"Why would you do that?" She snapped, banging her hand down on the desk in frustration.

"Because I didn't know you had anything to hide." He retorted.

"I don't." She snapped.

"Except a secret husband."

"He's not a secret. He's…." She stopped. She didn't even have the right kind of words to describe Jack.

"So it is true then." He said, looking disappointed.

She nodded slowly. "Did you tell him where I am?" She could feel the anxious knot forming in her stomach at the thought.

"I hung up on him." Kelly shrugged. "I'm not getting in the middle of your domestic drama. I just came here to thank you for looking after Casey." He stood up and pushed the chair back.

"Kelly wait." She pleaded.

His step faltered as he headed for the door. "Whatever you're going to say, whatever excuse you've got… I don't want to hear it, Amber."

"Kelly!" She called after him. This time he kept walking and she was left sitting alone in her office once more.

It took a few minutes for the shock to wear off and the panic set in. How had Jack got hold of her new number? Did that mean he knew where she was? It had been liberating, moving to a new city and not having to constantly be watching over her shoulder. It was the most comfortable and safest she'd felt in months. That had all been taken away from her in the blink of an eye.

As if he knew, the phone buzzed ominously on her desk, the number withheld.

"Hello?" She answered cautiously.

There was a laugh at the other end of the phone. "Well, well. It is you… Thought maybe I'd get your boyfriend again."

"Jack." Her blood ran cold. "What do you want?"

He laughed sarcastically. "What do I want Amber? I want my wife to come home and stop sleeping with other men. Chicago Amber? I mean seriously, what were you thinking? Did you honestly think I wouldn't find you?"

She froze for a moment, how had he managed to track her down? This was supposed to be a fresh start for her, her chance to get away from him.

A knock on her office door snapped her out of her trance for a moment. She waved the nurse in.

"Sorry Doctor, they need you in ICU. It's Matthew Casey."

Amber nodded in acknowledgement, holding the phone back up to her mouth as the nurse left the room. "I've said everything I wanted to say to you, Jack. Don't call me again." She slammed the phone down on the desk with enough force to shatter the screen. She grabbed her lab coat and stethoscope and jogged down the hall to ICU.

"What's going on?" She asked walking into his room. There were three nurses and a resident already in there.

"He's seized twice in the last ten minutes." The resident explained.

"What's happening?" Gabby asked frantically, looking at Amber for some kind of explanation.

"Can you take her outside please?" She asked one of the nurses who all but dragged Gabby out of the room.

As the nurse closed the door behind her and drew the curtain across so that Gabby couldn't see Amber went into auto-pilot, barking orders to the resident and the nurses to try and get Matt stabilised. All thoughts of Jack went out of the window, for the time being at least, while she tried to work out what was going on.

"Let's get him back up to CT." She instructed, finally convinced he was stable enough for them to make it that far. "I think we've got another bleed somewhere."

The moment they opened the door to take him up there Gabby was by the side of the bed demanding to know what was going on.

Amber stopped, catching Gabby by the arm. "I don't honestly know at the moment Gabby. We'll take him up to CT and go from there. Why don't you go home and get some rest? You're not going to be any good to him like this."

"I can't leave." Gabby shook her head. "Not while he's like this."

Amber paused for a second. "Go down the hall, turn left and my office is the third door on the right. Make yourself comfy, call someone to come and keep you company… whatever. I'll come and find you when I know something. I promise."

"You don't have to do that." Gabby looked surprised.

"You're Kelly's friends," Amber said simply. "Go and get comfy, I'll be back when I know something." She called back over her shoulder as she took off in the direction of CT.

* * *

It was six hours in the OR later that she finally made her way back to Gabby, who was sound asleep on the sofa in her office. She knelt on the floor beside her and gently shook her. "Gabby?"

Gabby's eyes flew open. "What? Is he okay? What time is it?"

Amber checked her watch. "It's nearly seven in the morning. He's okay. There was another bleed and we had to take him back into surgery. He's back in ICU now though, do you want to come and see him?"

Gabby's eyes filled with tears as she pushed herself upright on the sofa. "I thought I'd lost him." She sobbed.

Amber couldn't help herself, pulling her into a hug. "I know, but he's still here. Come on."

She walked back down to ICU with Gabby, wanting to check on Matt herself. The hospital was much busier now, the day staff starting to arrive. When they reached Matt's room she was surprised to see Kelly sat in the chair next to the bed.

He jumped up when he saw Gabby, leaving the chair empty for her to sit down. Amber quickly checked Matt's pupils and his vitals, reassuring herself that he was stable enough for her to go home and get some sleep.

As she went to leave Kelly followed her out of the door. "I'm sorry." He said quietly.

She turned around to face him. "I don't want to do this now Kelly, I've been up all night." She sighed.

He took in her rather dishevelled appearance. "Something happen?"

"He had another bleed. Another six-hour surgery. We nearly lost him twice."

Kelly inhaled sharply. "But he's okay now?"

Amber yawned, nodding slightly. "He's not out of the woods yet but I'm happy enough for now."

"I'll drive you home." Kelly offered as she yawned again.

She shook her head. "I'll get a cab."

"Amber-" He went to protest.

She shook her head at him. "No, you were right Kelly. What I did wasn't fair. I'm not going to put you in the position of ending up in the middle of my problems." She turned on her heel and headed back to her office to grab her stuff.

She was half expecting him to follow her but was relieved to find he wasn't behind her when she reached the door. She quickly grabbed her things and shoved her now smashed phone into her pocket. She headed for the door to try and find a cab. There was fresh, thick snow on the street outside and it crunched under her boots. She shivered, relieved when it only took her a couple of minutes to get a cab.

She was barely awake by the time she made it home, stumbling through the door and chucking her bag down on the kitchen counter.

"Hello, Amber." The voice stopped her in her tracks and she wheeled round to face him. "Did you miss me?"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

She stared at him for what seemed like forever. "How did you get in here?"

He laughed, taking a step towards her. "You need to be a bit more careful where you leave your spare key. Anyone could get in here!"

"You need to leave." Her voice faltered.

He shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere." He took another step towards her.

She took a step back, trying to keep some distance between the two of them. "I meant what I said when I left."

He laughed. "Yeah, and I meant what I said too. You don't get to decide you're leaving me."

"You nearly killed me, Jack." She reminded him, shuddering at the memory.

He rolled his eyes. "You're just as dramatic as ever I see."

"I was in the hospital for a month." She snapped. "I don't think you could call that being dramatic."

"That was your fault." He shrugged, taking another step towards her.

She backed up until she was right up against the wall. "You need to leave." She tried to sound assertive but her heart was pounding in her chest and her voice trembled.

"Now then, that's not a very nice thing to say. I've come a long way to see you, my wife." He smiled, taking another step towards her. "I've missed you."

She froze, her whole body going rigid, as his hand came out to touch the side of her face. She didn't even want to think about the last time he'd touched her- she was still having nightmares from it now.

"How did you find me?" She whispered.

"Oh sweetheart, did you forget I'm a detective or something?" He laughed sarcastically, she could smell the alcohol on his breath now he was close. "I told you if you tried to leave I'd find you. I'm just keeping that promise." He grabbed at her wrist as she went to push past him, shoving her back against the wall. She winced as her head connected with the wall.

"Get off me, Jack." She pleaded. "You're hurting me."

* * *

She was an hour and a half late to work the next morning. Jack had finally fallen asleep on the sofa and she'd seized the opportunity to run out of the house. She was going to have to deal with him at some point, but anything she could do to delay it for a few hours she would take, for the moment she'd got no idea what she was going to do.

"Dr Wright?"

She spun around to look at the nurse who was speaking to her. "Yeah, sorry." She realised she'd not been paying any attention.

"Are you okay?" The nurse asked. "Your face…"

Amber's hand flew up to her right eye, she'd done her best to cover the bruising with makeup but clearly hadn't done a good job. Her face was still throbbing where Jack had hit her. "Oh.. I'm fine... Just a DIY accident." She lied, quickly falling back into old habits.

"Okay." The nurse looked far from convinced. "Can you go in and check on Matthew Casey when you get a moment? He's awake."

"I'll go now, thanks." She nodded. She grabbed his notes and had a quick read through. Her phone rang in the pocket of her lab coat and she knew without looking it would be Jack. She ignored it, something she would almost certainly regret later, and headed to Casey's room.

"How are you doing this morning?" She asked, walking into the room. When she looked up she realised Kelly was sitting there beside Gabby and she met his eyes awkwardly for a second.

She sped through her examination, promising Matt she'd come back later and talk to him properly. She was hoping Kelly was going to be gone by then. Her only priority was getting out of that room and as far away from Kelly as possible.

"Right, I'll be back this afternoon." She told him. "I'm due in the OR." It was a lie, but she felt like she needed an excuse to get away from there.

"Thank you." Matt and Gabby both said at the same time.

She smiled in return, then turned and made a beeline for the door.

"Amber wait!" Kelly called, jogging after her. Gabby had given him a weird look as he'd bolted out of the room after the doctor but he needed to talk to her. She didn't turn around, although he knew she must have heard him, he ran a little faster and grabbed her shoulder to stop her.

She flinched at his touch as though he'd hit her, wheeling around to face him and yanking herself free from his grip.

"Hey, I'm sorry." He apologised quickly.

She looked at him for a moment, startled like a rabbit in the headlights. "What do you want Kelly?"

"What happened to your face?" He asked.

"It's nothing." She muttered, bringing her hand up to her face. The movement caused the sleeve on her lab coat to fall down her arm, revealing the handprint shaped bruises around her wrist.

He took a step closer to her, lowering his voice. "Don't try and tell me that's nothing."

She faltered for a moment. "It's fine, really. Incident with a patient."

"Amber…" He sighed. "You're a terrible liar."

She shifted uncomfortably. "I'm not your problem Kelly." She muttered. "I'm late for my surgery. Can you just leave it, please?" She didn't give him a chance to answer before she disappeared through a staff-only door so that he couldn't follow her.

Kelly stood there for a moment, trying to decide what to do now before he had an idea. He pulled out his phone and dialled the number quickly. "Hey, Lindsay. It's Severide, I need a favour…"

* * *

She was relieved when she went back to check on Matt that afternoon and found him alone. Avoiding Kelly had become her number one priority. He wasn't stupid enough to believe her lies, she could see it on his face, and it was bound to lead to trouble. She wasn't about to let Kelly get dragged into her mess and end up getting hurt too.

Jack had phoned her forty-three times during the day. She'd ignored every single one. She was certain she was going to regret this when she got home and he got his hands on her, but she'd deal with that later.

She didn't know what she was supposed to do now. Chicago was supposed to be a fresh start, her chance to get away from him, she'd never thought once in a million years that he'd actually track her down and follow her to the other end of the country. What did she do now? Try again and move somewhere else in the hope it might be more successful this time? Did she go back to Florida with him and back to the life she'd spent months trying to find a way to escape from? Or she could stay here in the hope that maybe he'd get bored and go back to Florida? None of them were good options.

She wandered back up to her office, already trying to mentally prepare herself to go home and face him. If she trusted that he wouldn't turn up at the hospital looking for her and cause a scene she'd be tempted to sleep in her office. She'd had previous experience of him turning up at her old hospital and causing a scene and she wasn't in a hurry to repeat that.

She did a double-take as she walked into her office, finding Kelly sitting at her desk. "Make yourself at home Severide." She said sarcastically.

"You weren't answering my calls." He said, as though that explained why he was sat at her desk.

"Most people understand that means a person doesn't want to talk to them." She retorted.

"You might not want to talk to me, but you need to."

She rolled her eyes at him. "And who are you to tell me what I need?"

"I've got a friend at the 21st, she's a detective." He started, watching her face carefully. "I asked her to look up your husband for me."

"You did what?" She stared at him in disbelief. "What do you think gives you the right?"

"I'm worried about you." He stated, as though that made it completely okay. "He's here, isn't he?"

"And I'll say it again- I'm not your problem Kelly!" She snapped.

"He did that to you, didn't he?" Kelly pushed, pointing at the bruising on her wrist. "Lindsay found the police reports from when you lived in Florida. How did he even get away with that? You could've died."

She slumped down on the sofa, staring at him in disbelief. "He's a detective too Kelly." There was no point in trying to deny it, apparently, he already knew everything. "Got friends everywhere on the force, even if he had have killed me he probably still would've got away with it."

"He's not got friends here." He argued. "I'll take you to the cops right now and you can-"

"Kelly." She cut him off. "I know you're trying to help, but I don't need this. I'll deal with him in my own way. I really don't appreciate you poking around in my personal life when I barely know you."

"I'm trying to help you!"

Her face softened. "I know. But believe me when I say when it comes to Jack all you're going to do is make it a whole lot worse."

"What are you going to do? Just carry on playing happy families and wait until he kills you?" He demanded.

She shrank back as he raised his voice at her and he immediately felt terrible.

"As I said, it's not your problem." She told him, her tone frosty. "Can you just go, please?"

He lingered for a moment and then stood up. "I meant what I said, I care and I'm here if you need me." He said quietly. She didn't answer him and he was forced to admit defeat and leave, even though the idea of just leaving her to go back to that man was enough to make him feel sick to his stomach.

* * *

It was just after 2 am when his phone started ringing. It had been a quiet night at the firehouse and everyone else was sleeping. He'd been tossing and turning for a while thinking about Amber and trying to decide what to do. Lindsay had offered to try and speak to her the next day but he didn't think it was going to help. She'd been pretty adamant she didn't want anyone else getting involved.

That was why he was surprised to see her name on the screen when he picked his phone up. It went from surprise to anxiety in a split second though, there was no way she was calling him just for a chat at this time of night. "Amber? What's wrong?" He asked, keeping his voice hushed so he wouldn't wake anyone else.

All he could hear on the other end of the phone was muffled sobbing. "I'm so sorry Kelly. I didn't know who else to call."

"It's fine, it's going to be okay." He reassured her. "Where are you?"

She looked around for a moment, not knowing the answer to his question, then reeled off the street name to him. She was only five minutes away from the firehouse, just round the corner from her apartment. He quickly pulled on his boots and jacket, keeping the phone to his ear the entire time and listening to her ragged breathing. "I'm on my way. I'll be five minutes I promise." He reassured her.

He stopped on his way out, shaking Capp semi-awake enough to tell him he was ducking out for five minutes but he'd got his radio. Then he hopped in his car and raced off to find her. It was bitterly cold and she had to be freezing being outside in this. His mind started to wander, wondering what had happened. Whatever it was he knew it wasn't going to be good.

He spotted her the second he turned the corner, standing by the side of the road in a flimsy pair of pyjamas and shivering violently. He hopped out the car and grabbed her, leading her round to the passenger seat. "Come on, let's get you back to the firehouse and warm you up."

She didn't say anything as she slowly climbed into the car, her teeth chattering violently from the cold. She sucked in the occasional ragged breath as she tried to stop herself from crying, but otherwise sat silently and motionless.

The firehouse was still deserted when they arrived back and Kelly was thankful. He parked the car and when she made no attempt to move went around to the passenger and offered her his hand. Her fingers clamped around his in a vicelike grip as she slowly followed him inside.

Once they were under the bright lights of the firehouse the physical evidence that something awful had happened became much clearer. There was fresh bruising on her face as well as the bruises around her eyes he'd seen earlier. Her lip was split, there was blood dripping from her nose, her pyjama top was torn and there were some distinct handprint shaped marks around her neck. He stopped dead, trying to take it in, and she just stood there as her bottom lip quivered and stared right back at him.

"Come on." He said quietly, leading her through to the locker room. "Let's get you in the shower and get you warm."

She nodded silently and followed him. Once he'd shown her to the shower and got her a towel he left her to it on the pretence of going to get her some clothes and went to find the chief.

"What is it Severide?" Boden asked.

"This girl I've been sort of... um... seeing I guess. She's a doctor over at Med- Casey's doctor actually..."

"You woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me about a girl you're seeing?" Boden raised an eyebrow at him.

Kelly shook his head. "Her ex is in town. I spoke to Lindsay about it this morning and she was going to deal with it tomorrow but Amber called me and he's roughed her up and it's bad Chief. I didn't know what else to do so I went and picked her up. Can she hang out here for a bit?"

"Of course." Boden nodded. "Are you going to call the police?"

Kelly nodded. "I've left a message for Lindsay."

"Do you need to take her to the hospital?" Boden asked. "I can go get Shay and Dawson to take a look at her?"

Kelly nodded. "Thanks, Chief."

He dashed back to his quarters, grabbing a pair of sweat pants, a T-shirt and a jumper. They'd be miles too big for her but they'd have to do for now and at least she'd be warm. He made it back to the locker room just as she stepped out of the shower. "Sorry," he apologised quickly, although he was unable to tear himself away from the angry purple bruises that littered her pale skin. "I brought you these to wear. They'll be way too big but at least you'll be warm."

She was still shivering as she took the clothes from him, despite the scalding hot shower she'd taken. "Thanks." She mumbled.

He turned around while he waited for her to get dressed, wanting to give her some privacy but also not wanting to leave her on her own. When he turned around she was rolling up the arms of his jumper which drowned her, her hair dripping down her back and her eyes red from crying.

"Come on," he held his hand out to her again and she quickly took it. "Let's get you a hot drink. The chief has gone to get Dawson or Shay to come and have a look at you."

"I'm fine." The words fell off her lips automatically as she followed him through to sit on the couch. "I should go."

"No." Kelly shook his head, keeping a firm grip on her hand. "You did the right thing calling me." He was desperate to ask her what had happened, how long had she been out there before she'd called him? From the slightly dazed expression on her face, he could tell she still hadn't processed what had happened. There was little point trying to talk to her.

There was fresh blood already seeping from the cut by her hairline and he was filled with relief when he saw Shay walk around the corner followed by Boden. Shay looked barely awake when she first walked in but the scene in front of her soon brought her to her senses. She shot a look at Kelly that made it clear they were going to discuss this later, before kneeling in front of Amber.

"Hey, I'm Shay. Kelly's roommate." She said softly, taking Amber's other hand. "I'm a paramedic. Do you mind if I check you out? We're all a bit worried about you."

Amber didn't say anything, just continuing to stare into space. Shay shot a look at Kelly and he guessed Boden had filled her in on what he knew. Shay eyed up the blood dripping from Amber's forehead. "Let's get this cleaned up to start with." She suggested, rummaging in her bag for a pair of gloves and some gauze.

"Ow," Amber muttered as Shay wiped at the blood, she glanced at Shay and did a double-take as though she'd only just noticed she was there. "It's fine. I'm fine. Really." She nodded.

"I don't think this will need stitching. Let me just stick a dressing on it so you don't bleed everywhere." Shay suggested, quickly fixing the dressing in place. "Are you hurt anywhere else?"

Amber shook her head, trying to stop herself shivering, but her whole body continued to shake violently.

Kelly dropped his voice and leant towards Shay. "When I picked her up she was out on the street in her pyjamas. It's freezing out there and I don't know how long she was out there."

Shay got to her feet. "Hang tight for me. I'm going to go and get some blankets and we'll see if we can get you warmed up a bit." She reappeared five minutes later with a stack of blankets and started to drape them around Amber until she was completely swaddled. Amber sat completely lifeless, gripping on to Kelly's hand as though she was drowning at it was a lifeline.

Shay sat on the coffee table so she was at eye level with her. "Amber, sweetie. Can you tell me what happened?"

Amber stares at her blankly. "It was my fault." She mumbled. "Should've called him back."

"Your husband?" Shay asked.

Amber nodded silently, her entire body shaking as she sobbed silently.

"Hey, it's okay. You're safe now." Kelly said soothingly, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest. "It's okay." He repeated as she sobbed into his chest.

"I'm going to leave you guys to it. Come and get me if you need me." Shay whispered, getting to her feet and quickly leaving the room with Boden.

"It's okay." Kelly soothed, holding her tightly. "Everything is going to be okay. He's not going to get away with this."

She pulled away and looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears. "You don't get it, do you? He always does."

* * *

He'd eventually persuaded her to go and get some sleep in his quarters which left him free to pace anxiously up and down waiting for Lindsay. She'd called him back to say she'd swing by and talk to him on her way to the district, although this was way out of her area being in intelligence. He owed her one.

"Hey, Kelly." She greeted him, walking into the firehouse. "What's going on?"

He quickly filled her in on what had happened during the night, looking at her expectantly as though she should instantly have a solution for him. "Well?" He asked impatiently when she didn't say anything.

"Well, what?" She frowned.

"What are we going to do?"

"Well firstly, you're going to do nothing. The last thing she needs is you wading in there and making it even worse." Lindsay told him sternly. "I can talk to her, but unless she wants to make a report there isn't anything anyone can do. Is she still here?"

Kelly nodded. "I'll go and see if she's awake."

He returned five minutes later with Amber following him nervously. The bruising on her face and around her neck was even more colourful than it had been a couple of hours ago and it made his stomach turn every time he looked at the clearly defined handprints.

"Hi Amber, I'm Detective Lindsay," Erin said kindly as Amber sat down on the other end of the sofa. Kelly perched on the coffee table, still holding Amber's hand tightly. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Amber shook her head. "It was just an argument, it's fine. No harm done." She muttered.

Erin looked at Kelly for a moment. "I'm here off the books as a favour to Kelly." She explained. "Whatever you tell me, it goes no further unless you want it to okay? I looked up your husband. This isn't the first time this has happened, is it?"

Amber slowly shook her head. "No, but I know what you're going to say and it's not that simple. I can't just leave him."

"Why the hell not?!" Kelly demanded.

"Kelly." Erin glared at him. "Did something happen?" She asked, turning her attention back to Amber.

She nodded, shifting nervously. "This is off the record?" She asked and Erin nodded. "I um… I did somethings a couple of years ago and if it got out, I'd be in all kinds of trouble. I'd lose my job. He said that if I ever tried to divorce him he'd report it to the police."

"Hypothetically speaking…. Because obviously, I'm not hearing any of this." Erin said slowly. "What exactly was it that you did?"

Amber took a deep breath, looking at Kelly for a moment wondering he'd be quite so keen to help her once he knew. "It was um… two years ago. I had this argument with Jack and he um.. he threw me down the stairs and I broke my shoulder in two places. I had three surgeries to put it back together and I was on all these pain killers. I um… I got addicted to them." Her voice went quiet and she looked down at her hands to avoid Kelly's eyes, embarrassed. "I was self-prescribing and then when I couldn't keep doing that I started stealing them from the hospital. I was working and operating and I was literally so high I've got absolutely no idea how I didn't kill anyone.

"You're clean now?" Erin asked.

She nodded. "I drove my car into a tree one night on the way home from work, no one else was hurt. Just me. Jack made it all disappear and I went to rehab. But he's been using it against me ever since. If anyone finds out I'll be finished. He's been calling me all night, I'm going to have to go back there."

Erin shook her head. "No, you leave him to me. Kelly, can she come and stay with you for a bit?"

Amber shook her head quickly. "You can't. If you arrest him he's just going to throw me under the bus."

Erin laid a reassuring hand on her arm. "Don't worry. I'm going to swing by the district and pick up Voight and then we'll go and pay him a visit in an unofficial capacity, for now at least. I'll call Kelly after and we'll go from there. Okay?"

Amber looked far from convinced but nodded.

"Come on," Kelly said, getting to his feet. "Shifts almost over and Boden said I could leave a little early. Let's get you back to mine and you can get some rest."

Amber got to her feet and then stopped dead. "It's Thursday. I'm supposed to be at work."

Kelly looked helplessly at Lindsay. "Don't worry." She said. "I'll call them, say you're helping us out with something or whatever. I won't tell them what happened, don't worry. Go and get some rest. I'll see you later."

Kelly shot Erin a grateful smile. "Come on." He said gently, tugging Amber towards the door. "Let's go."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"I should just go back and talk to him." She sighed, getting to her feet. "This is ridiculous."

"No." Kelly shook his head, getting up and blocking her path to the door. "You're not going anywhere until we've heard from Erin."

"Her going to speak to him isn't going to do anything other than wind him up." She told him again. "I appreciate what you're trying to do Kelly, I do but it's not worth it." _I'm not worth it. _She didn't say it out loud but he could see it in her face.

"Hey." He took a step towards her and placed his hands on her shoulders before drawing her into a hug. "Don't think like that. It's going to be okay."

She was tense for a moment and then relaxed against his strong, muscular frame. He made her feel safe and she trusted him, something she'd never had with Jack. She found herself standing there, breathing in his familiar smell, and wondering how things might've turned out between the two of them if Jack had never existed.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked quietly, his warm breath tickling her neck.

She hesitated before she spoke, her words muffled against his chest. "I was just thinking about how things might've worked out between us if Jack hadn't existed." She told him sadly. "I know it was the wrong thing to do, but those dates we went on before you knew about him. That's the most alive I've felt in years."

He held her just a fraction tighter. "I'm sorry I reacted the way I did."

She shook her head. "You had every right. I should've been honest with you from the start. Now you're stuck with me camping out on your sofa. Not quite so appealing now you know I'm married and a drug addict, hey?" She tried sound joking but it fell flat.

"Don't talk like that," Kelly told her unhappily. He released her from the hug and guided her back to the sofa again. "I'd never judge you, especially not for the drugs… I've um… I've been there and I get it."

She raised an eyebrow at this new information.

"I fractured my spine." He elaborated, seeing the curiosity in her face. "I was so terrified that I might have to give up work that I refused to go to the doctor and I was getting Shay to steal medication off the ambulance for me. Then when she refused to do it any more I started sleeping with this drug rep and she was supplying instead."

"I'm sorry Kelly." She said softly. "Are you all sorted now?"

He nodded, his fingers going up to trace the thin silver scar that was just visible above his shirt. "I ended up having this experimental surgery. I realised I needed help and I couldn't just keep burying it in the pills."

"I thought about it last night for the first time in ages." She admitted, feeling so ashamed of herself. "When I called you… If I'd known where to go to score I probably would've done that instead." She glanced up at him hesitantly.

There was no judgement in his face, only sympathy and understanding. "You did the right thing." He said softly. "And that's why you're going to stay here until this all gets sorted. You don't have to do this on your own."

"It's not fair on you though." She sighed. "You barely know me and you're doing all this for me." She hated the feeling that she was being a burden on him.

"Well, I can think of a way to solve that." He smiled. "We're stuck here for the day so why don't you tell me about you- and I mean you. I don't want to hear about him."

And she did. She found herself telling him everything, her life growing up in Florida, her parents and her younger sister, when she finally decided she wanted to be a doctor, the years at med school and her internship that followed.

"Hey, why'd you stop." He asked when the story came to an abrupt halt.

She pulled a face and chewed on her lip nervously. "The second year of my residency was when I met Jack." She explained. She hesitated a moment, looking at his face. "I bumped into him in the ER. my patient had been involved in this huge accident and Jack had come to question him. He had this way about him, he was so charming and before I knew it I'd given him my number and gone out to dinner with him."

"I bet you wish you hadn't now," Kelly commented dryly before he could stop himself.

Amber stiffened. "I don't expect you to understand it Kelly, but I don't regret it. We were happy once. Things happened and changed us, that's how we ended up here. If I could have the man I married back then I'd go back to him in a heartbeat."

"How can you possibly say that after everything he's done to you?" Kelly snapped.

She sighed, getting to her feet and slowly pacing back and forth across the room. She could feel Kelly's eyes trained on her. "It was eighteen months after we got married, he was called to a school shooting." She told him, her voice low and quiet. "He was never quite the same after that. That's when the drinking started and he's always had a bit of a temper when he's had a few drinks. I'm not saying it excuses any of it, but it's one of those things, sometimes the things you see on the job just change you as a person."

Kelly muttered something under his breath and she chose to ignore him. She didn't want to get into a fight with him when he was the only one on her side. He meant well, she had to remind herself of that, he was only trying to look out for her.

A knock at the door thankfully spared her from having to get into it any further with him. "That'll be Lindsay." He said, quickly getting to his feet and rushing to let the Detective in.

"Hey, Kelly." Lindsay greeted him, stepping inside followed by an older man. "Hey Amber, this is Sergeant Voight."

Amber nodded politely, that sickening feeling had returned to her stomach the second Lindsay had walked through the door.

"So.," Kelly asked impatiently. "Is he going to go back to Florida or what?"

Lindsay pulled a face that suggested it wasn't going to be good news and Amber felt her heart sink. She should never have let Kelly get her hopes up in the first place. "We did go and see him," Lindsay said, then turned to Amber. "You should've told me the full story at the firehouse."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Amber demanded, pacing back and forth in the same spot again. Kelly wondered idly if she was going to wear a hole in his floor before this was over.

"It means." Voight interrupts with his gravelly voice. "That he's in as much of a state as you are and is saying it was you who attacked him."

Amber snorted with sarcastic laughter. "Of course I hit him! He had his hands around my neck!"

Lindsay shifted uncomfortably. "We do understand that."

"Why do I feel like there's a but coming here?" Amber asked sarcastically.

"But… I'm not saying I don't believe you because I do, but you're the one with a record of assaulting him, not the other way round. He's saying you're the one who has got form, you're a drug addict and he was only trying to help you. You got the bruises from trying to get away from him when he restrained you."

"Fucking unbelievable." She shook her head in disbelief. "You know what happened that night? He'd been beating the absolute crap out of me for hours, I was off my face on god knows what because its the only way I could deal with being in the house with him, and then the neighbours called the cops and his buddies arrested me instead of him."

Lindsay sighed. "I believe you, but it certainly makes things more complicated."

Voight nodded in agreement. "He's not going to get away with it, but we're going to have to be smart about what we do. He knows how the law works and he's not stupid."

"I told you this was a terrible idea." Amber shot an accusatory glare at Kelly.

"It's not his fault, he's trying to help," Erin interjected. "We all are. For now, my advice would be that you don't go home. Either stay with a friend, get a hotel or whatever you want to do, but try and stay well away from him. If he starts hassling you then let me know."

Amber didn't say anything, just continuing to pace back and forth across the room like a caged animal. She was vaguely aware of hushed voices and Kelly showing Voight and Lindsay out.

"Hey." He stepped into her path, grabbing her shoulders. "It is going to be okay, I meant what I said."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Yeah well, at least one of us believes that crap." She pulled herself free from his hands on her shoulders and continued to pace.

"I'm going to go and shower." Kelly sighed in frustration. "Maybe you will have calmed down enough that we can have a conversation when I'm done."

She didn't answer him as he jogged up the stairs.

* * *

He'd heard the front door open just after he'd got in the shower. He'd assumed that it was Shay coming home but now as he stared at the empty room where he'd left Amber, the panic began to rise in his throat.

"Amber?" He yelled, dashing back up the stairs and checking his room and Shay's. "Amber?" He ran back down the stairs and that was when it caught his attention. A sheet of paper had been pulled from the note pad that was stuck to the fridge and left in the middle of the kitchen counter.

He unfolded it with his heart in his mouth and read it"

_'__I'm sorry, Kelly. I know you're only trying to help but I can't do this. You're going to end up getting hurt and you deserve someone far better than me. Thank Lindsay for me. I appreciate everything you've done, I really do. -A xx'_

"Shit." He muttered, pulling out his phone out and dialling her number. No answer, of course, so he left her a voicemail asking, pretty much begging if he was being honest, her to come back. He grabbed his jacket and bolted for the door to go and see if she was at the hospital. On the way, he called Erin.

"Kelly, there's nothing we can do." Erin sighed. "She's an adult and she knows what she's doing. If she wants to go back to him then that's up to her. You can't go around getting involved."

"But-"

She cut him off. "I know you care about her Kelly, but someone's going to end up getting hurt here and it's going to be you. I'll keep an ear out and I'll let you know if I hear from her, but you're going to have to accept that whatever she decides to do is up to her."

His search of the hospital came up empty, the resident he spoke to telling her that Dr Wright was on leave indefinitely. He wracked his brains trying to work out where else she might've gone. She'd told him earlier that day when he'd asked her why Chicago that she didn't know anyone there at all. He hadn't got a clue where to even start looking.

* * *

It was freezing cold, the already low temperature having plummeted even further as the sun dipped below the skyline. She'd been walking for hours completely aimlessly, somewhere along the line it had dawned on her that she didn't actually have anywhere to go. She couldn't go home, Jack was there and she couldn't go back to Kelly's and keep asking him to save her because that wasn't fair on him either. The hospital was off-limits, both of them would know where to find her there.

That was how she'd ended up in the eerily quiet park, sat alone in the darkness looking out over the river. The little bag of pills she'd purchased on the street corner weighed heavily in her pocket, her fingers tracing the outline of each tablet through the plastic over and over again. It was a snap decision, and one she'd probably live to regret, but she opened the packet and quickly shoved two of the pills into her mouth and swallowed them dry. She leant back against the bench and closed her eyes for a moment, waiting for the familiar rush to come. Maybe it would be enough to calm the wave of anxiety that hit her, because what was she supposed to do now?

Moving to a new city and starting fresh wasn't an option, this disastrous attempt in Chicago had already proven what a stupid idea that had been. But she couldn't go home and carry on with Jack either- could she? A tiny seed of doubt entered her mind. If she just did what he wanted and maybe moved back to Florida where no one was going to try and interfere then maybe it would be doable. She could probably get her old job back and she'd have a roof over her head which was more than she could say currently. The thought of actually doing it made her feel sick to her stomach though.

Then there was Kelly.

She loved him, there was no doubt about it in her mind. From the moment he'd first sat down next to her at the bar she'd been steadily falling for her. He was kind, gentle and everything that Jack wasn't. In her head, she'd already planned out a whole future for them, a lifetime of happiness. That was what made it even harder to accept that it was never going to happen. Even in some alternate universe where she was freed from the grip Jack had over her, she was never going to be good enough to deserve him. It was better this way, a clean break would enable him to move on. In a couple of months, it would be like she'd never existed as far as he was concerned.

She delved into her pocket and took out another two pills, shoving them into her mouth and swallowing roughly. The tears were flowing freely down her face now and she could taste the saltiness of her tears on her lips. As she sat there stifling her sobs she wondered idly how many of the pills she'd have to take to knock herself unconscious for a couple of hours, then at least she wouldn't have to think about any of it for a while.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"Erin, I get it and I know she can do what she wants but I'm worried about her!" Kelly snapped, slamming his hand down on her desk in frustration. "I haven't heard from her in a week!"

Erin sighed in frustration. They'd been having this argument for half an hour since he'd turned up unannounced and demanded to speak to her. "I keep telling you Kelly, I haven't heard anything either. She's not gone back to work and she's not gone back to him but that's all I can tell you."

"Can't you do some digging?" He pleaded. "If I know she's okay then I'll leave her alone, I promise."

"I take it you do realise I have an actual job to do Kelly?" Erin snapped at him. "I don't want anything terrible to happen to her either but she's made it pretty clear she doesn't want your help or mine."

"Please?" He said quietly.

She sighed. "If I get time I'll do a little bit of digging but you might just have to accept that you're not going to get some kind of happy ending where you get to swoop in and save her Kelly."

"I just need to know she's okay." He said softly. "If something has happened and I didn't try and help her I won't be able to live with myself."

"I know." Erin nodded. "Just go to work, do your job and try not to worry about her too much. I'll get in touch if I've got something to tell you, okay?"

He nodded. "Thanks, Erin, I owe you."

"I know you do." She called after him as he disappeared back down the stairs.

He'd made it to the firehouse just in time to start the shift. He was torn between hoping it would be a quiet one so he could answer the phone if Erin called and hoping for a crazy day that might take his mind off Amber and wondering where she might be.

He sat himself down at the Squad table and the rest of the guys quickly muttered excuses and left. He couldn't blame them, he'd been in a foul mood all week and wasn't exactly good company. He grabbed his phone and dialled Amber's number again. He'd lost track of how many times he'd done this over the course of the week.

"Stop calling me Kelly." Her voice was flat and cold on the other end of the phone.

He almost dropped his phone at the sound of her voice on the other end. He'd been fully intending to leave her another message but it hadn't even crossed his mind that she might answer. "I've been worried about you. You didn't return my messages."

"Oh, I heard them." She answered him sarcastically. "The thing is Kelly I don't need you to save me or whatever it is you're trying to do. Just leave me alone."

"Amber-"

"Goodbye Kelly."

He stared at his phone for a moment after she hung up on him. She didn't need him to save her… what did that even mean?

"What's up with you?" Shay asked, sliding into the vacant seat next to him.

"Huh?" He looked up from his phone.

"Well, you managed to scare away the entire Squad." Shay pointed out. "You've been in an awful mood all week. I saw the way you yelled at poor Mills the other day. He hadn't even done anything wrong!"

"I know." He sighed. "I did apologise to him for that."

"So what's going on then?" She pressed, looking at him expectantly.

"I've just been so worried about Amber. I hadn't heard from her all week and I was sure something awful had happened." He admitted, he sounded pathetic even to his own ears. "Then she just called me up out of the blue and said she's fine and I need to leave her alone… like what am I even supposed to do with that?"

Shay sighed. "It's nice that you care Kelly, but she's married and got a whole heap of baggage. Do you think maybe you'd be better off to just walk away? You're only going to get hurt."

"I think it might be a bit late for that." He said miserably.

She smiled at him sympathetically. "Okay then," She nodded. "Whatever you need Kelly, I'm here."

The alarm went off before Shay could attempt to impart any more words of wisdom on him. "Ambulance 61, a person in distress."

Shay rolled her eyes. "We aren't done talking about this. Try not to terrify your entire Squad while I'm gone!"

* * *

"Don't look at me like that." Kelly sighed when Shay walked back into the house an hour later. "I'll get my shit together, I promise."

"It's not that." She sighed, standing in front of him.

"Well, what is it then?" He asked, searching her face. She looked stressed and worried.

"I um… I found Amber." She told him, watching his face light up.

He stood up straight away. "Thank god. Is she okay?"

Shay put a hand on his shoulder to steady him. "That call we went on Kelly, it was her. Drug overdose."

His face fell and he felt as though someone had knocked the wind out of him. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Positive."

"Is she going to be okay?" He asked, his voice faltering.

Shay grimaced. "We took her to Lakeshore. Figured she probably wouldn't want everyone at Med to see her. It's not great though Kelly."

He took a breath. "Did she um… Did she do it on purpose?"

Shay shrugged. "I have no idea Kelly, she was unconscious when we got there and she didn't come round before we dropped her off." She squeezed his arm. "This isn't your fault Kelly."

"I shouldn't have let her leave." He said quietly, shaking his head. "I should've been there for her."

"Hey." Shay stopped him. "You've done nothing but be there and try and help this woman and you don't really know her or owe her anything. This isn't on you."

"I know, but it sure as hell feels like it." He muttered.

"What are you going to do?" Shay asked.

He looked at her for a moment. "I'll go and ask the Chief if I can have an hour to go and make sure she's going to be okay… Then I'll go from there I guess. I probably ought to call Lindsay and tell her she can stop looking for her."

"Let me know how it goes," Shay said and he nodded before disappearing off to find the Chief.

* * *

She was asleep when he arrived, the hospital bed seeming to dwarf her and making her look even smaller than usual. Her dark hair was splayed across the pillow, the bruises on her face and around her neck turning yellow and fading now. She looked peaceful and relaxed.

He sat down in the chair beside the bed and hesitantly took her hand, not sure whether he should wake her or not. Her fingers tightened around his automatically. "Hey." He breathed as her eyes fluttered open. "You had me worried for a bit there."

"Kelly?" She frowned at him, quickly retracting her hand from his. "What are you doing here?"

He wasn't quick enough to hide the hurt that flashed across his face. "It was Shay and Dawson that found you. I was worried."

She looked down at her hands, embarrassed. "She told you?"

"Yes." He nodded. "It's okay, I meant what I said. No judgement." He reached out and with the tip of his finger gently lifted her chin so she was looking at him. "Can I ask you a question though?"

"I don't know." She shifted uncomfortably, she knew what he was going to ask.

"Did you do it on purpose?" He asked. "Were you trying to OD?"

She hesitated for a moment. "I don't know." She choked out eventually, her eyes already filling with tears. "I just wanted it all to go away. I needed it to stop. I wanted to stop thinking about it. About him. "

"Hey." He soothed, getting out of his chair and climbing on to the bed next to her. He wrapped her in a tight hug and she sobbed into his shoulder. "It's okay… It's gonna be okay."

"I can't believe I have to start all over again." She whispered. "It took me so long to get clean and then I was so weak and I just threw it all away. Here I am, back on day one again."

He pressed his lips to the top of her head. "You're not weak at all, you're one of the strongest people I know. You can do it again, I'm right here to help you."

She relaxed into his arms again. "I'm sorry for what I said to you earlier." She mumbled.

"It's forgotten already." He smiled. "I'm just so glad you're safe. I would've missed you."

She went quiet for a moment. "Kelly..."

"What?"

"I need to just... whatever happens, with me and Jack. I think... I think I just um... probably need to be on my own for a while... I've got a lot I need to figure out and..."

"Amber stop." He interrupted her as she started to ramble. "It's okay, I get it. Friends?"

"Friends." She nodded. "I'm not saying never Kelly, I'm just saying that I need time. I don't want to rush into something and ruin it. I need to focus on sorting myself out."

"I know." He smiled. "And that's okay."

They sat there in silence for a bit, him holding her tight as she relaxed in the safe embrace of his arms.

He cleared his throat. "I have got a suggestion to make though." He said eventually, he'd been thinking it over in his head for a while now.

"What's that?" She mumbled.

"Shay and I just moved into this great new place but we could really use a third roommate. Why don't you take the room? You'll be helping me and Shay out and you won't have to be on your own."

"I-"

"It doesn't have to be forever." He added quickly. "I just think that while you're getting back on your feet and deciding what you're going to do now."

"Kelly." She interrupted him. "I think it's a great idea. Are you sure Shay won't mind?"

"She won't mind at all. It was her idea actually." He laughed.

* * *

"Welcome home!" Shay grinned standing by the front door as Amber walked up the stairs with Kelly. He'd picked her up the next day and she was so glad to be out of the hospital. It was never easy being the patient instead of the doctor.

"Thank you, I'm so grateful." Amber returned her smile as she stepped inside.

"Anytime." Shay smiled, then disappeared off into her bedroom. Form the sounds of the giggling as she shut the door she'd got company.

"You'll get used to that." Kelly laughed.

"I um... I'm going to have to go and get my stuff. I haven't got anything." She suddenly realised.

"Shay went out and bought you a few things. Erin is going to take you to your place to pick your stuff up tomorrow." He explained.

"Oh." Her stomach flipped at the thought of hacking to come face to face with Jack.

"What's wrong?" He asked, taking a step towards her. She'd gone white as a sheet and looked like she could burst into tears at any moment.

"I um... I... will he be there?" She asked nervously.

Kelly shook his head quickly. "No, Erin said she'd sort it."

"Will you come with me?" She whispered a wave of embarrassment hit her that she was too pathetic to even set foot in her own apartment without him.

"Of course I will." He smiled. "Now come on, you should sit down. You're supposed to be resting."

* * *

"You okay?" He asked quietly. She'd stopped dead as Erin had unlocked the door to her apartment and had been standing there silently ever since.

"Amber if it's too much we can go in and pack things up for you..." Erin suggested kindly. She was conscious that there was only so long that Voight and Halstead would be able to stall Jack for as well and the last thing they needed was him showing up before Amber had gone.

Amber shook her head, trying to shake off the sickly feeling in her stomach. "No, it's okay." She said firmly, taking a step inside. "I can do it."

"You need to try and take everything you might need," Erin explained. "We're going to get the locks changed when we're done so he can't get back in here."

"Oh." Amber paused halfway through taking a bag down from the shelf to shove her clothes in. "Then where is he going to go?"

"Back to Florida with any luck," Kelly muttered angrily.

"What Kelly said basically. We're hoping he might just give up and go back home." Erin explained.

Amber looked far from convinced as she started shoving clothes into her bag. "And what happens with the apartment?"

"Well, it's up to you," Erin explained. "You'll have to decide if you'd feel safe living here with him knowing where you are I guess."

"Let's not think about that just yet," Kelly interjected quickly. "Let's just get you packed and back to mine as quick as we can."

"Okay." She mumbled, turning back to her dresser and shoving more clothes into the bag.

After fifteen minutes Erin started to get a bit twitchy. "Are you guys nearly done?" She called through into the bedroom.

Amber stood up and looked around. "Yeah, I think that's most of it."

"Okay." Erin relaxed slightly. "Let's get out of here then."

Erin's sudden desire for them to hurry up became clear when they walked out on to the street and Amber suddenly found herself face to face with Jack. "This is how you treat your husband is it?" He shouted, walking towards her angrily. "Disappear for a week and then just turn up and kick me out onto the street. Where am I supposed to go now, Amber?"

As he reached her Kelly dived between the two of them. "You'd better keep walking before I knock you on your ass." He growled.

Jack laughed in his face. "Oh yeah, go on then. Why don't you try it mate."

"Kelly!" Erin warned as she watched the two men square up to each other. "Get in the car and go."

Kelly lingered for a moment, he would've loved nothing more than to lay this guy out. The feeling of Amber's hand closing around his wrist made him see sense though. "Come on, let's go." He said quickly and turned and walked her back to his car.

Erin watched the two of them walk away before turning her attention back to Jack. "You're not to call her, contact her in any kind of way, go anywhere near her. The locks have been changed so you'll need to find yourself somewhere else to stay. Do I make myself clear?"

He smirked at her. "What you going to do about it love? I haven't done anything to her. I think you'll find that she was the one that assaulted me."

"I think we all know that's a load of shit," Erin told him. "I might not have any evidence yet, but I can assure you that if you go anywhere near her I'll make your life a living hell. Now, why don't you do us all a favour and go back to where you came from." She turned to walk away.

"Oh I'm not going anywhere, I promise you that." He called after her.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Kelly asked, standing in the doorway of her bedroom watching her as she got herself ready for work. "You don't have to rush back."

"I'm not rushing back, it's been three weeks." She told him. "I'm only going in for half a day to see how I feel. I'll be fine."

"If you change your mind you can call me and I'll come and get you straight away." He offered quickly.

"You've got to go to work too Kelly." She reminded him. "I'll be fine." She smoothed out the black pencil skirt and white shirt that she'd picked out to wear to this department meeting, slipping her feet into her heels.

"You'll be great." He nodded, although he couldn't help but worry she was doing too much too soon. It had been a strange couple of weeks, she hadn't heard anything from Jack but it hadn't escaped his notice the way she kept looking at her phone as though she was expecting it to ring any second.

"I've gotta go. I'm going to be late for this meeting." She said, turning to face him. He was still standing in the doorway and she couldn't get past him. She smiled, stepping towards him and wrapping him in a hug. "I'll be fine, I'll call you at lunchtime?"

He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight for a moment. "You could always swing by the firehouse and have lunch with us if you like?"

"That sounds like a great idea." She nodded. "Now come on, if you don't let go of me I'm going to be late." She laughed.

"Okay." He laughed, letting go of her reluctantly. "Just promise me you'll be careful and call me if you need me?"

"I promise!" She called, already halfway down the stairs.

He stayed stood where he was until he heard the front door slam. He turned around hearing the sound of laughter behind him. "What?" He asked, looking at Shay.

"You've got it real bad Severide." She laughed, pushing past him to get to the stairs.

"I know." He groaned, turning and wandering into his room to start getting ready for work.

* * *

The morning at work had passed in a blur. She'd been to a meeting, seen a few patients, read hundreds of emails and suddenly it had been lunchtime already. She wasn't entirely sure what she'd been so worried about. She'd had a few strange looks and heard a few whispers from the nurses about her sudden disappearance and reappearance but that was to be expected, there was always going to be hospital gossip.

Kelly had texted her a couple of times to see how it was going and she'd been quick to reassure him that she was fine and it felt good to be back to normal. She'd promised to swing by the firehouse for lunch on her way home.

She couldn't help but feel a bit anxious at the thought of it. She'd heard all kinds of stories about the people at Firehouse 51 but she'd never actually met most of them and the idea of meeting Kelly's friends made her stomach churn. She knew what the problem was, why she was worried about what they might think of her- she liked Kelly. She was doing her best to stick to what she'd told him, what she'd told herself, she should have some time on her own and figure out who she was now that she wasn't with Jack. It was easier said than done though now that she was living under the same roof as Kelly. Spending their evenings on the sofa together watching tv, grocery shopping together and everything. It had given her an insight into what life might be like with him, how easy it would be to be happy with him, and her resolve was starting to waver slightly.

Taking a deep breath and pulling herself together she walked up to the entrance of the firehouse, her heels clicking on the concrete as she walked. "Hi." She smiled as an older man greeted her at the entrance, then she realised she recognised him as the bartender from Molly's. "I'm here to see Kelly?"

"Of course." He laughed. "Right this way…"

She followed him through the firehouse and then spotted Kelly sitting at a table playing cards. "Thank you…" She trailed off, realising she didn't know his name.

"Christopher Herman." He smiled. "No worries at all."

"Hey!" Kelly jumped up at the sound of her voice. "You made it!" He grabbed her and pulled her into a hug.

"I promised you I would." She smiled, hugging him back and breathing in that familiar smoky smell.

"Come on, I'll give you the tour." He smiled, taking her by the hand.

She tried to ignore the chorus of wolf whistles as Kelly took her by the hand and led her away from the table.

"Sorry about them." He laughed. "We don't get many visitors round here… Especially not good looking ones." He winked, squeezing her hand.

She felt her cheeks flush crimson, finding it hard to concentrate on anything else as he led her through the firehouse pointing various things out.

"I believe you already know Matt." He smiled, stopping at the door to an office and pointing inside.

"Hey Matt, Gabby… How are you doing?" She asked.

Matt looked up from his computer and frowned a little trying to work out where he knew her from.

"This is Doctor Wright. She did your surgery." Gabby explained, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Right." Matt nodded, although she could see from his face he didn't remember her. "I think I have an appointment with you next week."

She nodded. "It's okay, I wouldn't worry if you don't remember me. You were unconscious for most of the time I was with you." She laughed. "It's good to see you up and about though!"

"Come on, let me finish the tour." Kelly smiled, tugging on her hand. "We'll see you guys in a bit."

"He looks so much better." She commented as they walked next door into another room.

"He's doing great, thanks to you." Kelly smiled, closing the door behind them. "And this is my office."

He sat down on the bed and pulled her down to sit beside him. "It's nice to see the place, it's all I hear about from you and Shay." She joked.

"You'll like everyone here, they're a great group." He smiled reassuringly. "Besides they already owe you, you're the one who saved Casey."

"Just doing my job." She shrugged.

"Speaking of…." He nudged her gently. "How was it?"

She shrugged, resting her head on his shoulder. "It was okay, just a boring meeting and a bit of paperwork. I'll be back operating by the end of the week hopefully."

"And you've not heard anything from Jack?" He asked tentatively. They hadn't really spoken about Jack, the last time he'd brought it up he'd upset her and he'd been doing his best to avoid doing that again.

"No." She said quietly. "Not at all. Did Lindsay find out if he'd gone?"

"I'll call her again later and try and find out." He reassured. "That's good though. If he's not bothering you then you can get back to normal?" He was desperate to ask her what her plans were if she was going to stay in Chicago but he was too frightened to do it. What if she said no?

"I don't know if I know what normal is any more." She laughed quietly. "But yeah, maybe this can be the fresh start it was supposed to be after all."

He rested his chin gently on top of her head, pressing a soft kiss to her hairline as she relaxed against him.

They sat there quietly for a moment before she spoke. "Kelly?" She said quietly.

"Mmmm.."

"You know what I said, before?" She asked nervously. "About wanting to be on my own?"

She had his attention now. "Yeah?" He said.

"I've um… I've been thinking about it and… I don't want to wait to be happy." She blurted out. "This wasn't really how this was supposed to go as my fresh start and all that, but to be honest it helped me find you and this is the happiest I've been in such a long time."

He stayed silent, not sure where she was going with this or what he was supposed to say.

"But um… it's okay if you um… if you don't feel the same." She mumbled quickly. "I just… you've been such a good friend to me and I don't want to ruin it so I'll just-"

"Amber." He cut her off. "Stop."

She stared at him for a moment until he put his finger under her chin and gently lifted her lips to meet his.

"Food's up!" Shay burst through the door. "Oh.. okay… I'm gonna give you guys a minute." She smirked, disappearing out of the door again.

Kelly laughed and Amber felt her face turn bright red as she buried her face in his chest. "What's the betting she's already told everyone?"

"She's already done it." He laughed. "Come on, you'd better come and meet the rest of them." He stood up and offered her his hand.

"Please tell me they're going to be nice?" She asked nervously.

"You saved Casey's life. If they start giving you grief just remind them of that." He laughed. "Come on." He pulled her along and she followed reluctantly towards the kitchen.

Everyone looked up at them both as they walked in hand in hand. "Everyone, this is Amber." He grinned proudly.

* * *

"Kelly!" She squealed, shrieking with laughter as he rolled them over and pinned her against the mattress with his body weight. His lips peppered kisses down her neck and she bit back a moan. "Kelly."

"Mmmm.." He didn't stop.

"Kelly I'm going to be late for work." She protested weakly.

"Is that a problem?" He laughed, kissing her.

She wanted to say no and stay there with him forever, she couldn't remember the last time she'd been so happy. Probably just after she'd married Jack….

The realisation made her whole body go tense and Kelly stopped immediately. "What's wrong?" He asked, sitting up and looking at her.

"Nothing." She mumbled, wiping roughly at her eyes as they started to fill with tears.

"Amber…" He sat up.

"No." She pushed him away and jumped to her feet. "I should get ready for work." She grabbed her clothes and bolted into the bathroom before he had a chance to say anything else.

He sat there for five minutes waiting for her to come back, then realised he could hear the sound of muffled sobbing coming from the bathroom. He tried the door handle even though he knew it was going to be locked. "Amber." He called, leaning against the door. "Come on, let me in."

"I'm fine." Her voice was strangled. "I'm just getting ready for work."

He heard the shower turn on. "Come on, we need to talk about this." He pleaded. "Amber?"

He was still stood there fifteen minutes later when she emerged from the bathroom dressed for work. "I'd better go, I'm going to be late." She said quickly, going to push past him.

"Amber wait." He reached out and grabbed her arm to stop her before he'd thought about what he was doing. She wrenched her arm free from him immediately and ran down the stairs and out of the door before he could catch up with her. The sound of the door slamming reverberated around the house.

He leaned back against the wall and groaned. He wasn't entirely sure what it was that had made her run in the first place but he knew grabbing her like that wasn't going to have made it any better either. He was such an idiot.

He turned around and headed back into his room so he could get dressed and go to the hospital to find her. Whatever was going on, clearly they needed to talk about it and he wanted to apologise for grabbing her like that and make sure she was okay.

He headed straight for her office when he arrived at the hospital but it was empty. He dialled her number to try calling her again but he could hear her phone ringing in the drawer of her desk. So he sat down and waited, figuring she'd have to come back eventually.

He was right and a little after an hour of him sitting there she arrived dressed in her scrubs, hair scraped up under a scrub cap and looking flustered. "Kelly? What are you doing?" She asked, rummaging around in her desk to find something. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"My shift doesn't start for another hour and I wanted to check you were okay." He explained. "I'm sorry, about this morning."

She stopped what she was doing and looked up at him. "You didn't do anything to apologise for Kelly." She sighed. "If anyone should be apologising it should be me."

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" He asked hesitantly, not wanting to upset her again.

She was quiet for a moment. "Can we talk about this later? Tonight maybe?"

"I won't be home tonight." He reminded her.

"I'll swing by the firehouse after I'm done." She suggested. "I promise."

"Okay." He agreed reluctantly.

"I'm okay Kelly." She reassured him. She reached into her desk to grab her phone and slammed the drawer shut again.

"I was really worried." He admitted quietly as she walked towards him.

"It's nothing you did, I promise." She said softly. She stretched up and kissed him. "Now I have to get going, I'm due in surgery. I'll see you this evening okay?"

"Okay." He agreed, kissing her forehead before she stepped back.

"Stay safe." She called as she left her office.


	8. Chapter 8

She'd taken her time getting to the firehouse after work. Her surgery had run late and she'd sent Kelly a text promising that she would get there eventually but hadn't heard back from him so assumed they were out on a call. The deserted firehouse she arrived to confirmed her theory. It felt odd with the place being so empty. The couple of times she'd visited the place had been teeming with life and now it was almost eerie.

She wandered through into the kitchen area and realised they must have got the call halfway through cooking dinner. There were chopped onions on the side and mince in the frying pan on the oven. She wandered over and started cooking what she presumed was supposed to be chilli given the rice and kidney beans lying around on the counter also waiting to be cooked. She might as well do something useful while she was waiting and at least it would take her mind off the dread she was feeling at the thought of having to explain what had happened that morning to Kelly.

Not long after she'd finished cooking she heard the sound of the trucks arriving back at the house, the sound of chatter and slamming doors filling they air.

"Hey, Otis did you forget to turn the chilli off because something definitely smells like it's cooking?" Herman called.

"I turned it off!" Otis yelled back.

"Look who it is!" Herman grinned as he walked in and caught sight of Amber stood behind the oven. "I knew that smelled better than something Otis could've cooked!"

"I heard that!" Otis shouted as he walked past.

"I hope you don't mind." She mumbled feeling awkward as the firefighters all started to file in and fill the room. "Thought I might as well make myself useful."

"Oh, we don't mind at all. You can come and make us dinner any time you like." Herman laughed. "Hey, Severide, this one a keeper!"

Kelly rolled his eyes as he walked past Herman and wrapped an arm around Amber's waist. He planted a soft kiss on her hairline. "You made it!" He smiled.

"Did you think I was going to stand you up or something?" She teased.

"Have you been here long?" He asked, changing the subject. He'd been expecting her to stand him up after this mornings incident.

"Just long enough to finish cooking." She shrugged, leaning against him as she breathed in his familiar scent mixed with smoke. "Busy day?"

He nodded. "Big building fire a couple of blocks over." He explained, eyeing up the chilli in the saucepan. "I'm starving."

"Well it's a good job I finished cooking for you all then isn't it." She smiled.

"Come on, let's grab a couple of plates and you can come to my office. The others can help themselves when they're done in the shower." He suggested.

"Okay." She nodded, quickly dishing up a plate each for them and then following him out to his office.

"I just need to write up my report from that call, it won't take long I promise." He explained, sitting down at the desk in his office and taking the plate of food she held out to him.

"It's fine." She smiled, sitting cross-legged on his bed to eat her own food and watching him as he worked. A comfortable silence fell over the room, but it also gave her time to stew on what she was going to say to him and build it up in her head.

Fifteen minutes later he spun around on his chair and looked at her. "Okay, I'm all yours." He grinned.

She smiled at him nervously.

"How was your day?" He asked, leaning back in his chair.

"It was okay, boring stuff." She shrugged. "Clipped a couple of aneurysms and removed a tumour. Did lots of paperwork."

"Doesn't sound boring to me." He smiled.

She rolled her eyes at him. "Says the guy who thinks running into a burning building is a normal day."

"Okay, you might have a point there." He admitted. There was a long pause. "So about this morning? You had me worried."

"I'm sorry." She sighed.

"You don't need to apologise for anything." He answered quickly. "I should be the one apologising. I just want to understand what I did."

"You didn't do anything." She shook her head at him. "It was just me being stupid as usual."

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" He asked gently when she'd been quiet for a few moments.

She chewed on her lip nervously trying to find the words. "This did going to sound stupid... I was... I was um, thinking about how happy you make me and then it just popped into my head that I used to feel like that with Jack too." She blurted out. "I'm not meaning that you'd ever do anything to me like he did but it frightened me. I like you Kelly and I'm not ready to get my heart broken again."

He stood up and moved to sit opposite her on the bed, his hand coming to rest gently on the inside of her thigh. "I'm not going anywhere." He reassured her. "It's okay, I completely get it now. Whatever you need, I'm right here."

She took a deep breath, looking down at her lap where her hand had come to rest over his. "I need to move out." She blurted out, avoiding meeting his eye so she didn't have to see the look of hurt that flashed across his face.

"I thought you were happy living with me and Shay?" He asked sounding surprised. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting her to say but it wasn't that.

"I am." She said softly. "But this whole thing with us, living together it's a bit... well I don't know. The thing is though I like you and I don't want to ruin it by rushing things. I think me moving out and giving us both a bit of space is for the best."

"If it's really what you want." He nodded sounded unhappy with the situation.

She squeezed his hand. "It's not because I don't want to be with you Kelly, but I've spent the last ten years with Jack and I need a little bit of time to figure out who I am without him and what that means. I don't want to mess up what I've got with you because of him."

He was quiet for a moment. "Please tell me you're not going to move to the other end of the city or something?" He joked, then the thought entered his mind that she might go back to her old apartment. "Or back to your old place?"

She laughed quietly. "I found an apartment a couple of blocks over from you that I can go and look at tomorrow. I couldn't go back to my old apartment, not after what happened with Jack."

"That sounds better." He nodded.

"Want to come to look at it with me?" She asked hopefully.

He nodded. "Of course!" He didn't want her to do it at all, but at least this way she'd only be just around the corner. If it was what she felt she needed to do then he was going to support her decision.

* * *

"Morning." He yawned, walking out of the front of the firehouse to meet her.

"You look exhausted." She commented, kissing his cheek.

He nodded, stifling another yawn. "It's been a long night."

"You sure you want to do this?" She asked. "I don't mind going on my own if you want to go to bed."

He shook his head. "I'll be fine. I want to see the place."

She went quiet for a moment. "You do understand why I'm doing this, don't you?"

He hesitated for a moment. "I think so, I'd much rather you didn't move out but if it's what you think you need to do then I'll support you."

Her face softened and she breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you." She mumbled, leaning against him as he wrapped his arms around her.

He held her for a moment before glancing at his watch. "Come on then, we're going to be late if we don't get going."

"Come on then, then you can get some sleep." She smiled, taking his hand and pulling him to the car.

The drive only took five minutes and they met the realtor, who'd made the assumption they were moving in together before they could correct her, and quickly been shown around the apartment.

"So what do you think?" She asked as they stood in the kitchen together.

He leaned back against the kitchen counter and looked around. "It's nice." He agreed, he couldn't argue with that. He'd found himself feeling a bit disappointed as they'd walked around and he'd realised what a nice place it was. He'd been hoping it would be a disaster so she'd reconsider her desire to move out.

"It is, isn't it." She beamed. "I've got a good feeling about this place!"

He smiled back in an attempt to muster up some enthusiasm for her, yawning again in the process.

"Come on you." She laughed, grabbing him by the hand and tugged him towards the door. "We need to get you into bed."

"I won't object." He winked, following her.

"I'm working tonight." She reminded him. "I wasn't joking when I said I wanted to sleep."

He rolled his eyes at her. "We'll see about that. Come on, let's go."

* * *

"You know it's not too late?" He pointed out, putting down the last box on the kitchen counter. "We could still put all this stuff back in the car and you could move back in with me and Shay. I think Shay would thank you for it to be honest. You're a better roommate than Otis is ever going to be." He pulled a face at the thought.

"Oh, what a compliment." She rolled her eyes at him. "And don't be mean, I like Otis."

Kelly muttered something under his breath that she didn't quite catch. "You sure you're going to be okay here on your own tonight?" He asked, watching her face carefully.

She hadn't spent more than a couple of nights on her own since the night Kelly had picked her up and taken her back to the firehouse. Her shifts had quite often meant that when Kelly was at work overnight, so was she. She hadn't told him that it was deliberate and she'd arranged it on purpose so she wouldn't have to be alone, but he'd had his suspicions.

"I'll be fine." She nodded, forcing a smile. Moving out and getting her own place had seemed like a great idea at the time, but now she was here and the thought of being there on her own had become real it felt a lot scarier.

"I'm right around the corner if you need me." He reminded her.

"I know." She smiled, taking a couple of steps towards him and winding her arms around his neck. She leaned against him as his arms linked around her waist. "But I'll be fine, I can do this. Jack is gone and I need to move on."

He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "I'm proud of you." He said softly.

"Don't get all mushy on me now Severide." She blinked back a few tears that were welling in her eyes, burying her face in his chest so he wouldn't see. "I'll throw you out if I have to."

"Speaking of…" He sighed, glancing at his watch. "I should get going really, Boden's going to be pissed if I'm late."

She held him a fraction tighter for a moment, trying to quell the feeling of anxiety rising in her stomach at the thought of him leaving. "You'd better go then." She said, forcing herself to pull away from him. "You've got lives to save and I've got a lot of boxes to unpack."

He watched her carefully for a moment as she turned to the box on the kitchen counter and opened it, starting to pull things out. He was struggling to read the expression on her face, but he knew it wasn't the excitement he'd seen when she'd initially seen the place. "I'm right around the corner." He reminded her, pausing to kiss her, as he made his way towards the door. "If you need anything you'll call me?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Promise?" He asked, hesitating with his hand on the door.

"Promise." She agreed. "Stay safe."

"I'll see you tomorrow." He smiled, heading out of the door to the firehouse.


	9. Chapter 9

"Okay, if you can check on her every fifteen minutes. Call me when she wakes up?" Amber asked, looking up from the patient chart she'd been filling in on the iPad.

"Yes, Doctor." The nurse nodded. "You have a visitor, by the way, he's waiting in your office."

"Thanks." Amber yawned, knowing without having to ask it was going to be Kelly. She'd been meaning to call him back when she'd ended up rushing into a surgery. That was over eight hours ago and he was probably worried. She wondered for a moment if she had time to go and grab a coffee first, but he'd probably been waiting a while already.

"Hey." She greeted him as she walked into her office, stripping out of her lab coat and sitting herself down on the sofa beside him. He was still in his turnout gear, soot covering his face and an unreadable expression. "Everything okay?"She asked warily, although she knew the answer was going to be no.

He nodded, but as he did so his eyes filled with tears. He grabbed her and pulled her into a hug, burying his face in her shoulder. She could feel his breathing turn ragged and he sobbed silently into her shoulder.

"Kelly, what's wrong?" She asked gently, her hands rubbing soothing circles across his back. "Hey, talk to me." She prompted when he didn't say anything.

She pulled back a fraction, using a finger under his chin to tilt his head up so she could look at him. "I'm sorry." He mumbled, wiping roughly at his eyes. The tears had left streaks in the soot that covered his face. "I shouldn't have come here."

"Don't be stupid." She dismissed him quickly. "Tell me what happened."

"I um.. there was... there was a building fire, and this kid." His voice cracked. "I was right there Amber, right there in the room with him and I missed him. He died because of me."

She pulled him tight against her, rubbing his back gently as he cried on her shoulder. "I know it hurts now, but you're going to look back on this at some point and realise there was nothing you could've done differently." She realised her words were going to offer very little comfort to him at this point, she'd been in his position enough times to know that, but it was all she really had to offer him at this point.

"I should've checked under the bed." He mumbled. "I thought I did..."

"You did everything you could, Kelly." She soothed. "I know that, and you do too. Sometimes things don't go our way."

He looked up at her for a moment, eyes filled with tears, as though he was going to say something. The shrill beeping of her pager cut through the silence in the office before she could speak. "Sorry." She mumbled, rummaging in her pocket to see who it was. "Shit... I've got to go. Can you wait here?" She asked, seeing it was a 9-1-1 page about the patient she'd just been in surgery with. She jumped to her feet and ran for the door.

* * *

He was gone when she got back to her office an hour later, and she wasn't surprised. She'd learned by now that if there was one thing Kelly Severide didn't do well, it was talking about his feelings. She'd tried calling him a couple of times but of course hadn't got any kind of response for him. That was how she'd found herself hammering on the door of his apartment at 2 am.

"Amber?" A very confused and half asleep looking Shay opened the door. "Is everything okay?"

"Is Kelly here?" She asked. "Sorry, I didn't realise how late it was. I was just on my way home from work."

"It's fine." Shay waved a hand dismissively. "I thought he was with you?"

"He turned up in my office this afternoon and he was really upset. My patient crashed and I told him to wait for me and then when I got back he was gone. I've been trying to call him for ages but he won't answer." Amber explained.

"He never came home after our shift. Said he was staying at your place tonight." Shay explained, waving her inside and closing the door. She grabbed her phone off the counter and tried calling him again. "Straight to voicemail."

"He seemed pretty upset earlier." Amber frowned. "Do you know where he might go? I haven't been home yet so I can check my place, but what if he's not there?"

Shay was quiet for a moment. "Go home and check he's not there. If he's not I'll call Casey and find out if he knows where he is. He um... he doesn't deal with stuff like this very well. His face when they found the kid..."

She squeezed Shay's arm gently. "I'll go home and check now. I'll call you as soon as I get there." Amber suggested, heading straight for the door.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she reached her building and spotted his car out front. She headed in and was relieved to see him asleep on her couch. '_He's here. I'll call you in the morning.' _She quickly fired off a text to Shay.

"Kelly." She knelt down beside him and shook him awake. "Kelly, wake up."

He sat up abruptly, looking at her in confusion. "What?"

"What are you doing here Kelly?" The stench of alcohol hit her as she got closer to him. Then she spotted all the empty beer bottles on the coffee table. "You didn't wait for me."

"It's fine, I'm fine." He mumbled. "Just didn't want to go home to Shay."

"You can keep saying you're fine all you want Kelly, you're really not fine." She sighed, sitting down on the sofa next to him. "Drinking yourself unconscious really isn't the way to deal with something."

"Made me feel better for a bit though." He shrugged, leaning back against the sofa again and staring at the ceiling. He might've been drunk, but he wasn't drunk enough to miss the disappointment in her eyes as she looked at him and he didn't want to see it. "I might as well just stay here and get drunk anyway. I'm no good to anyone, no good at my job. That kid died because of me. So why not? Not like anyone's going to miss me is it."

"Don't." She snapped. He sat up and looked at her again, surprised by her change of tone. "You know full well what I mean Kelly. After everything I told you, yeah fine you might be doing it with beer instead of prescription drugs, but I'm telling you now having spent years trying to get my life back on track that burying whatever you're feeling in alcohol isn't the way to do it."

He snorted indignantly. "I'm nothing like you. I'll have a drink to forget about it if I want to. I've got the willpower to stop any time, unlike some people."

She stared at him for a moment, trying to remind herself that he was drunk and upset and he didn't mean it. It wasn't enough to stop his words from stinging though and her eyes began to fill with tears. "Get out." She snapped.

He looked at her blankly. "I said get out!" She shouted, loud enough this time that she'd probably woken her neighbours. "Get out of my apartment Kelly!"

He scrambled to his feet still looking confused, his drunk brain struggling to put together what he'd said with her sudden change of mood.

"Get out!" She yelled again when he still hadn't left. This time he did, the door slamming behind him with enough force to shake the pictures hanging on the wall. She got up and locked the door behind him to make sure he didn't come back, then collapsed into bed and sobbed into her pillow until she fell asleep.

* * *

When she woke the next morning it was light, the sunlight was streaming in through the window in her bedroom as she hadn't shut the curtains the night before. Her head was pounding and she still felt exhausted. She laid there for a moment, then the memories of the argument with Kelly came flooding back. She grabbed her phone off the bedside table but he hadn't tried to call or text her. She had one message from Shay asking if everything was okay as Kelly had turned up at home again. She stared at it for a minute before deciding to ignore it. She didn't want to talk to anyone, at least not yet.

She knew he was drunk and hurting, that he probably hadn't meant what he had said... and that was if he could even remember having said it in the first place. She'd been in his position and she could understand the hurt that came along with losing someone you felt you should have been able to save. But if this was going to be his reaction every time something went wrong or her lost someone... could she really put herself through that all over again?

Last night, he'd reminded her of Jack in the aftermath of the school shooting. It was an unsettling realisation which sent a rush of nausea straight to her stomach. She lurched out of bed and onto the cool tiles of the bathroom floor just in time to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

As unsettling as it was, it was true. In those early days after the school shooting, Jack had taken up residence on their sofa and drunk himself stupid on a daily basis claiming it was easier than thinking about it. She hadn't known what to do at the time, had figured it was just his way of dealing with things and that after a week or so had passed he'd pull himself out of it and go back to work, that sooner or later he was going to have to accept that there was nothing he could have done and start to move on with his life. She'd been wrong though, three weeks later he was still there surrounded by beer bottles and mumbling about what he could've done differently.

She'd put her foot down in the end, or at least tried to, and stopped buying the alcohol for him and told him he needed to pull himself together. That was the first time he'd hit her that night, and she could still feel the sting of his palm as it had connected with her cheek and taste the alcohol on his breath as he'd stood over her laughing at how pathetic she was.

She sat on the bathroom floor for a little while until she was relatively sure she wasn't going to be sick again, then got up and brushed her teeth before flopping back down on the bed. She grabbed her phone and quickly called the hospital to tell them she was sick and wouldn't be in today. She laid on the bed and closed her eyes, trying to ignore the churning feeling in her stomach. The images of Jack just wouldn't go away though. She could see him standing over her, laughing at what he'd done to her. All the names he'd ever called her, the ways he'd threatened to kill her, all the reasons he'd given why she was worthless and pathetic were just playing in her head on a loop over and over.

She got up and started pacing around the apartment, the wooden floorboards creaking under her feet as she went. As she paced past the kitchen her eyes came to rest on the bottle of red wine beside the cooker. One of the neighbours had brought it over the day she moved in. She'd meant to give it to Shay or Kelly because while she did drink occasionally she didn't allow herself to drink at home. Her therapist back home had pointed out on more than one occasion that although it might be in liquid form, alcohol was still a drug and she was still an addict.

She looked at the bottle again for a moment. One glass wouldn't do any harm though... It might be enough to take the edge off the crippling anxiety she could feel building and allow her to get some rest. Despite what Kelly had said, she had the willpower to just have one glass. She knew she did.

* * *

"Wake up!"

Kelly groaned, shielding his eyes from the bright sunlight. He blinked as his eyes adjusted enough to realise the reason it was suddenly so bright was that Shay had opened the curtains. She flopped down on the bed beside him, jolting the bed enough that for a moment he thought he might throw up.

"Shay, don't." He warned, throwing his arm over his eyes as his head began to throb. How much had he drunk last night? How had he ended up at home?

"Shut up Kelly." Shay snapped. "Tell me what happened?"

He tentatively raised his arm away from his eyes enough to look at her. "What do you mean what happened?"

"Well, Amber turned up here in the middle of the night looking for you, then texted me to say you'd turned up at her place and then you came crashing back in here so drunk you could barely stand and swearing about her at half-past five this morning..." Shay explained. "So again, what the hell happened Kelly?"

He stared at her, his brow furrowed as he tried to remember what had happened. He'd gone to the hospital, sat and waited for her for a while and then when he realised she was going to be a while he'd gone to the store to grab some beer and waited for her on her couch. He couldn't even remember her coming home?

"I don't know." He mumbled. He reached out for his phone.

"I already tried calling her," Shay explained. "She's not answering my calls or my messages. Something tells me she's even less likely to want to speak to you."

He dropped his phone back on the bedside table. "I just wanted it to stop." He mumbled. "I just didn't want to keep seeing his face."

Shay squeezed his arm. "I know, but like everyone keeps telling you it wasn't your fault Kelly. No one else would've done anything any different. You can't punish yourself forever. Maybe just give Amber some space for a bit? Whatever you did, I'm sure she knows you were upset and you didn't mean it."

Kelly nodded reluctantly. Maybe Shay was right, she usually was in situations like this.

"You'd better get up and shower, shift starts in two hours." She announced, getting back up off the bed.

"Two hours?" Kelly looked at her blankly. "How long have I been asleep?"


	10. Chapter 10

"Hey, Severide!"

Kelly spun around at the sound of his name. Dawson jogged the last couple of steps to catch up with him. "What's going on with your girlfriend these days?" Gabby asked. "Her assistant just called and cancelled Matt's follow up appointment for the third time. She's sick?"

Kelly shifted uncomfortably, looking down at his feet. She still wasn't returning his calls. "I don't know." He shrugged, avoiding her eye. "I haven't spoken to her this week."

Gabby looked at him for a moment, she recognised that guilty expression of his. "What did you do?"

"I don't know." He sighed.

"Well, best you find out." Gabby rolled her eyes at him. "Her assistant said she's been out sick all week and they don't know when she's coming back."

"Thanks, Gabby." He mumbled. He'd been putting off going to her place because he couldn't face the idea of her shutting the door in his face. Now though he was worried that he hadn't heard from her because something had happened.

He found Shay at the end of shift and checked she'd be okay getting herself home, then drove himself to Amber's place. The building was eerily quiet as he walked inside, climbing the stairs to her floor. He knocked quietly twice but got no response. "Amber." He called, knocking a bit louder. He was trying to avoid causing a scene and upsetting the neighbours but after what Dawson had said he was a bit worried something might have happened to her.

"Amber!" He pounded on the door again.

He was just contemplating how much trouble he'd be in if he just took the door down and forced his way in, he was pretty sure he'd be able to manage it, when she unlocked the door, pulling it open a fraction.

"Kelly?" She mumbled, looking confused as she peered around the door at him. "What are you doing here?"

"You weren't answering my calls. I wanted to check you were okay?" He answered. She looked far from it, well the little bit of her he could see from behind the door. Her forehead was coated in a thin sheen of sweat and her skin was so pale it looked almost translucent. Her eyes were sunken and surrounded by dark circles.

"I'm fine Kelly." She sighed. "Go home."

"No." He shook his head. "Come on, I'm coming in."

He took a step forward and she reluctantly opened the door, not having the energy to try and argue with him. She knew he wasn't going to go away until he'd said whatever it was he'd come there to say.

"How long have you been sick? Have you been to the doctor?" He asked, following her inside and watching as she wrapped herself in a blanket and settled herself back on the couch.

"I think I'm capable of looking after myself." She argued weakly, closing her eyes and resting her head back against the sofa. The walk to the door had been exhausting.

"I'm not so sure about that." He muttered, pressing a cool hand to her forehead. "You're burning up."

"You can go, Kelly, I'm fine." She swatted his hand away without opening her eyes.

He frowned, perching on the edge of the coffee table. "If I said or did something the other night... I'm really sorry."

She opened one eye a fraction to look at him, shaking her head slightly. "I'm not surprised you don't remember. You were pretty drunk."

"I almost certainly didn't mean what I said if I was drunk." He said softly. "I'm really sorry."

She closed her eye again, shifting on the sofa to try and get comfortable. "I don't really care Kelly... Whether you meant it or not, you still said it and it hurt me... I've spent years dealing with a man who doesn't deal with his emotions in any way other than drink. If that's the person you need me to be for you then I suggest you go and find someone else."

"Are you going to tell me what I said?" He asked although he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer to that.

Her eyes snapped open again. "I suggested that drinking yourself unconscious might not be the greatest way to deal with having a rubbish day at work... and you pointed out that unlike me you've got some self-control and aren't going to turn into an addict or a drunk... You happier now you know?"

"Amber, I'm so sorry." He whispered, feeling horrified that he ever would have said that, no matter how much he'd had to drink. "I didn't mean it."

She waved a hand dismissively at him. "Whatever Kelly. Can you just leave me in peace now?" She squeezed her eyes shut tighter as her head began to spin again. She was quite impressed she'd actually made it to the front door to let him in given that she'd barely been able to sit up straight all day.

"No, I'm taking you to the hospital." He said, standing up. "My car is outside, and you need to get checked out."

"I'm fine." She mumbled. "Just leave me alone. I need to sleep."

"Have you actually had anything to eat or drink all week?" He asked, looking around the kitchen. There was no sign that she'd been cooking or even an empty glass left out.

"No." She whispered. "Makes me sick."

"Well then, I rest my case." He sighed, bending down and scooping her up off the sofa along with her blanket. She didn't argue with him, a sure sign that she was sick.

She squeezed her eyes shut as he carried her down the stairs, the movement making her feel seasick. She concentrated as hard as she could on not throwing up on him. The movement of the car did nothing to help her nausea and she briefly wondered quite how annoyed he was going to be if she threw up in his beloved car.

* * *

He'd been trying to keep her talking on the way to the hospital so he knew she was awake, but five minutes out she'd stopped talking to him and slumped against the window. He was wishing he'd called an ambulance to take her instead as he accelerated to get there a bit faster. Dumping his car in the first available parking spot he could find he scooped her up and headed for the entrance to the ER.

Thankfully, the first person he ran into when he stepped through the door was Will Halstead, and he'd never been quite so relieved to see the doctor before in his life. He put her down on the gurney as Will instructed and then watched helplessly as she was wheeled away. After fifteen minutes of pacing back and forth in the waiting room, he called Shay to let her know where he was and that he wouldn't be home for a while. She quickly offered to come and wait with him, and despite him saying he was fine she turned up anyway.

"Any news?" She asked, sitting down beside him. She handed him the coffee she'd bought him on the way in, although she doubted that he'd drink it.

He shook his head. "I should've gone and checked on her sooner. This is my fault."

Shay sighed. "You've gotta stop blaming yourself for everything Kel, you can't make everything your fault. You did the right thing, you got her here. That's what matters."

They sat there for an excruciatingly long hour and a half before Will eventually returned. "How is she?" Kelly asked, getting to his feet when he saw Will coming.

"Why don't we talk somewhere more private?" Will suggested, looking around the packed waiting room. "Come this way."

Kelly's stomach flipped, it didn't sound like good news. He and Shay followed Will back towards the nurses' station. "She's stable for now, we're taking her up to surgery as soon as there's an OR free." He explained.

"Surgery? What happened?" Kelly asked anxiously.

Will looked uncomfortable for a moment, looking back and forth between Kelly and Shay. "It looks like she had a miscarriage, there was some tissue left behind which caused an infection and has turned septic."

Kelly stared at him for a long moment. "She was pregnant? Did she know?"

"We don't know," Will said softly. "She's pretty out of it at the moment."

"Can I see her?" Kelly asked quickly.

Will nodded. "You can sit with her until we can take her up to surgery, but I probably wouldn't tell her about the baby if she does wake up. The last thing we need at the moment is to upset her. I'll talk to her after the surgery."

"Okay," Kelly nodded, it still hadn't really sunk in. "Is she going to be okay?"

"I'm hoping she'll make a full recovery." Will smiled. "She's a tough one... Come on, I'll take you through."

She looked small and fragile lying there in the hospital bed, her skin almost as white as the sheets. Shah gave him a quick squeeze on the shoulder and stepped outside to leave him to it. He sat down in the chair a nurse had pulled up for him and took her hand in his. "I'm right here." He said softly. "It's all going to be okay."

* * *

He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there when Will reappeared. "Can I talk to you outside for a second Kelly?" He asked, nodding towards the door.

Kelly got up, reluctantly letting go of her hand and followed Will outside. "What's up? Everything okay?"

Will shifted uncomfortably. "You and Amber, you're together?" He asked.

Kelly nodded. "Yeah."

Will cringed. "Her husband is here, in the waiting room. He's listed as her next of kin and one of the receptionists called him. He wants to see her."

"No." Kelly shook his head. "You can't let him in."

Will looked at him waiting for some kind of explanation. "I'm going to need a bit more than that Kelly."

"They're getting divorced." Kelly protested. "She won't want him here." He wasn't sure how much Will knew or if anyone at Med really knew what had happened and he wasn't sure how Amber would react if they all found out from him.

"Getting divorced or they are divorced?" Will asked. "Because if they are yet then technically he is still her husband..."

Kelly paused for a moment. He was going to have to tell him. "She moved here from Florida to get away from him. He's violent and abusive and he nearly killed her, Will. You need to stall him and I'll call Lindsay, she was dealing with it."

Will's expression changed as he took in what Kelly had said. "God, I had no idea." He mumbled. "I'll go and stall him, just tell Lindsay to get here fast?"

Kelly nodded, pulling out his phone as Will walked away. "Erin, it's Kelly. Amber's husband is at Med now. I need your help."

Kelly stepped out into the waiting room beside Erin, his eyes immediately coming to rest on Jack who was pacing up and down as Kelly had been a little while ago. Erin nodded, approaching him.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." She said politely.

His head snapped up and he realised who she was, clocking Kelly behind her. "I should've known you'd be here." He snarled. "Have you not got any shame? Sleeping with my wife. I'm not going anywhere! The hospital called me and I have a right to know my wife is okay!"

"Sir." Erin didn't flinch as he shouted into her face. "You've been warned to stay away from her. You know how this works. It was a miscommunication by the hospital in contacting you, and now I need you to leave."

"If you want me to leave you're going to have to make me." He snapped. "I've not done anything wrong. You should be kicking him out, he's not any kind of family to her."

"Hey," Kelly shot back at him, unable to keep his cool any longer. "I've been more of a family to her than you'll ever be. I've been helping her pick up the pieces and move on from what you did to her. Don't think for a second I'm ever going to let you get close enough to hurt her again. If you even try you'll have to go through me first."

"Fine by me." Jack spat.

Erin waved at Jay and he moved in beside her. "Come on Sir." He said calmly. "You either leave of your own accord or we will remove you."

There was a tense moment where Kelly honestly thought that Halstead was going to have to take him down to get him out of there, but eventually, Jack turned and walked out, slamming the door into the wall on the way out. Kelly let out a sigh of relief.

"Right, we're going to take her up to surgery," Will said. "Thanks for your help guys."

"Will you let me know when she's out?" Kelly asked hesitantly.

Will nodded. "It might be a while though, but I'll get someone to let you know."

Kelly sat back down on the chair in the waiting room and resigned himself to another anxious wait.


	11. Chapter 11

It was five hours later when Will eventually returned, giving Kelly a reassuring nod as he walked in that allowed Kelly to let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. She was okay.

"She's stable and in recovery." Will smiled. "She's not quite out of the woods but I'm hopeful."

"Can I see her?" Kelly asked immediately.

"Sure." Will nodded. "I'll take you through. She's pretty out of it on all the painkillers and that but I'm sure she'll be pleased to see you."

As he followed after Will a thought suddenly entered his brain and he stopped dead.

"Everything okay?" Will asked, turning to look at him.

Kelly hesitated for a moment, wondering if it was his place to say anything. "How um... if I tell you something, hypothetically, can it stay between us?" He asked reluctantly.

Will took a step towards him. "Well, that would depend on what it is you're going to tell me and if it has an impact on how I care for her." He said slowly.

Kelly gave him a pleading look. "The painkillers... she's um... she used to be an addict." He mumbled, hoping she was going to forgive him for this at some point. "How is that going to affect this?"

Will was quiet for a moment, his mind trying to take in all the new information he'd been given today about the woman he'd been working alongside for months. "We'll keep an eye on her." He nodded. "Ideally we'd take her off everything before it has a chance to cause a problem but she'll be in agony if I do that. We'll work something out."

"Thank you." Kelly breathed a sigh of relief.

"You did the right thing telling me. She'll understand." Will said kindly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "She's just down there, second door on the left. If you need anything call a nurse and I'll be back to check on her later."

"Thanks, Will."

* * *

He must have fallen asleep in the chair beside her bed because the next thing he knew he was being woken up by Amber thrashing around in the bed next to him. It took him a moment to work out where he was and what was happening.

"Amber." He shook her shoulder gently to wake her. "Amber, wake up."

Her eyes flew open and she looked at him blankly for a moment. "Where's Jack?"

"He's gone, Erin asked him to leave." He reassured her, sitting back down. "He won't come back, I promise."

She frowned at him. "But... why would you do that? Jack? Where's Jack?" She moved to sit herself up and cried out in pain. "Aaah... It hurts." She hissed. "What happened?"

"I'm going to go and get the doctor," Kelly said quickly, jumping up and heading out into the hall. A nurse called Dr Halstead for him and Kelly paced back and forth by the nurse's station anxiously as he waited for him.

"What's going on Kelly?" Will asked when arrived a few minutes later.

"She um... She woke up and she seems confused. She keeps asking for her husband and wants to know why he's not here. Then she asked me what happened and said it hurt... I don't... I don't know what to do." Kelly blurted out.

"Okay, calm down," Will said slowly. "You go for a walk and get yourself a coffee or something. I'm going to go in and see how she's doing, I can talk to her about what happened. She's probably just a bit confused because of all the medication and everything. Try not to worry, okay?"

Kelly stood and watched as Will walked around the corner and disappeared into Amber's room.

* * *

"Hey, Kelly," Shay called, jumping up as she saw him walk into the firehouse. "What are you doing here?" They'd all assumed that given the situation with Amber he'd be taking the shift off. It seemed he had other ideas.

He ignored her, pushing past her and heading to the locker room.

"Hey, Kelly." She followed after him, grabbing him by the shoulder. "Did something happen?"

He stared at her for a moment. "Nothing... She's fine. It's all fine." He mumbled. "I just need to do something. I need to work and keep busy."

Shay watched him for a moment as he shoved his bag into his locker, kicking the door angrily when it didn't close straight away. "She woke up and asked for _him, _Shay."

Shay smiled sympathetically. "I would imagine she was pretty out of it with all the meds she must be on. I wouldn't read too much into it, Kelly."

He sat down on the bench, his shoulders sagging and dropped his head in his hands. "I don't know if I can do this Shay." He mumbled. "I don't know how to do this. I don't know if I can be the person she needs me to be."

Shay sat down beside him, wrapping an arm around him. "You don't need to be perfect Kelly, she just needs you to be there for her."

"I don't know what to say to her." He whispered. "After all of that, now she has to go through this too."

Shay was quiet for a moment. "You lost the baby too Kelly, you're allowed to be upset."

He shook his head. "I didn't even know she was pregnant. I don't even know if she knew..."

Shay sighed. "And that is exactly why you should be at the hospital talking to her instead of sitting here with me."

* * *

"How is she?" Kelly asked, spotting Will at the nurse's station. Shay had kicked him out of the firehouse and sent him back to the hospital. She was right, he should be with Amber and not pretending he was in any kind of fit state to work. The idea of actually sitting down and talking to her was a lot more terrifying now he was in the same building though.

"You're back." Will smiled. "She's been asking for you. She's settled down, I think she was just a bit confused earlier. It happens."

Kelly breathed a sigh of relief. "Did you um... Did you tell her?"

Will nodded. "She didn't know she was pregnant. She was pretty upset though, I think she'll be pleased to see you."

Kelly nodded, taking a deep breath to try and steady his nerves. "Thanks, Will."

He thought she was sleeping, to begin with, but her eyes opened as he sat down beside the bed. The first thing he noticed was how much better she looked than when he'd seen her earlier. The colour had returned to her cheeks and she looked much more alert.

"Hey." She said softly. "You came back."

"You remembered I was here earlier?" He asked, sounding surprised.

"No." She shook her head, feeling her cheeks flush with embarrassment. "But Will told me, I'm um... I'm sorry for what I said earlier."

"You had me worried for a bit." He admitted. "How are you feeling?"

Her face dropped. "I'm so sorry Kelly, I didn't even know I was pregnant." She whispered, tears welling in her eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey..." He climbed onto the bed next to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close to his chest. "You didn't do anything, you don't need to apologise for. Sometimes these things just aren't meant to be."

"I um... When we had that argument the other night..." She whispered, burying her head in his chest. "I got given this bottle of wine by one of the neighbours when I moved in and it had just been sitting there for ages and I was upset and I..." She trailed off.

He was quiet for a long moment and she was almost afraid to look at him. "It wasn't your fault Amber." He said softly. "Even if that did have something to do with this... and I'm sure it didn't... You didn't even know, it's not like you did it on purpose."

She sobbed into his chest noisily. "I wish I could take it back. Do something different."

"Shhh..." Kelly soothed. "Let's just focus on getting you better for now."

"I told Will to keep the drugs." She told him. "I don't need them and I don't want to risk it." She sounded confident that she could do it as she spoke, but in reality, she was already struggling with the searing pain burning in her abdomen.

Kelly looked at her uncertainly. "Will said it would be too painful to do it with no painkillers at all."

She forced what she hoped resembled a smile. "Well, I guess it's lucky I've got a high pain tolerance."

"Amber." He sighed. "You don't have to try and pretend it's okay." He could see from the expression on her face and the slight sheen of sweat forming on her forehead that she was in pain.

"I can't Kelly. I'm not taking the drugs. I'm not going there again." She looked up at him. "Please, I need you to let me do this." She wanted to prove to herself, and him, that she was strong enough to do it.

"Okay." Kelly agreed reluctantly. "But as long as you know no one is going to think any less of you if you take them. It's not the same thing in this situation."

She nodded, relaxing and allowing her head to rest against his chest. The sound of his heartbeat and the rise and fall of his chest with his breathing was comforting.

"I was thinking earlier..." She whispered, not sure if he was even still awake. His breathing had deepened and evened out and he'd been quiet for a while. "I wonder what he or she would've been like."

His arms tightening around her as his lips pressed gently against the top of her head showed her that he was still awake and listening to what she had said. "Yeah." He whispered. "Me too."

She laid there for a moment wondering how it was possible to grieve for a person that you'd never even met.


	12. Chapter 12

Her resolve not to take any more painkillers had lasted twelve hours before Will had been forced to intervene.

"Amber, come on." He reasoned. "This is stupid, you know that."

She gripped at the bedsheets and gasped for breath as the shooting pain ripped through her abdomen again. "I can't." She sobbed. "I can't do it. Please don't make me."

"Amber." Will sighed. "It's okay, Kelly told me what happened before. We aren't going to let it happen again. I promise."

She opened her mouth to argue with him but found herself unable to speak, instead struggling to catch her breath.

"Come on," Will said, holding up the syringe he'd prepared already. "I know you're scared and I understand it. The very fact that you're willing to try with no pain relief is brave. But you can't carry on like this. We're never going to get you in a fit state to go home if not."

"Just once?" She bargained with him through gritted teeth. Her resolve was wavering already, regardless of what he said. She needed to rest and not be in agony, even if it was just for a couple of hours.

"We'll talk about where we go from here later when you're in the right frame of mind to be talking about this," Will answered.

She nodded, offering her arm out to him. The relief was almost instantaneous. She relaxed back against the bed, her eyes closing as she finally allowed herself to drift off to sleep.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been asleep, she was groggy and it felt like a lifetime, but when she woke up Shay was sitting in the chair beside the bed that was usually occupied by Kelly.

"Hi..." amber mumbled sleepily, blinking as she tried to focus on the other woman.

"How are you doing?" Shay asked, leaning back in the chair. "You has us all worried for a bit. Kelly especially."

"I'm doing better." Amber nodded. "Sore, but better."

A look of understanding crossed Shay's face. "How are you finding it, with the painkillers and all that? It must be tough."

A guilty look crossed Amber's face and she looked down to avoid Shay's eyes. "I thought... I thought I was strong enough to manage without any drugs at all but I couldn't do it." She admitted quietly.

"Hey." Shay reached out and took Amber's hand. "It's okay. You don't have to feel guilty. If someone had cut me open and been rummaging around in there I'd be taking all the painkillers I could get. Trust me."

Amber offered her a half smiled that didn't quite reach her eyes in return.

"Kelly will understand," Shay reassured her. "I've seen the way he looks at you, and I've never seen him look at any woman like that... and trust me I've seen him with a lot of women. He loves you Amber, whatever you need he'll be here. We all are."

"Thank you," Amber mumbled, wiping quickly at the tears which had welled in her eyes at Shay's words. "Speaking of... where is Kelly anyway?"

Shay pulled a face. "He's on the phone to his Dad having some kind of argument in the hall. I snuck in here so I could talk to you on my own for five minutes." She laughed. "I've missed you!"

Amber returned the smile, more genuine this time. "We'll go out one night when I'm out of here, I promise."

"Yay!" Shay squealed. "I'm gonna hold you to that!"

"Jesus Shay, I think the whole hospital heard that," Kelly muttered walking in. He quickly made his way around the bed and dropped a kiss on Amber's forehead. "How are you feeling? Aside from the fact Shay just ruptured your eardrums with whatever that was."

Shay stuck her tongue out at him and he pulled a face at her in return. "Well, I'm going to leave you two love birds too it." She announced, getting up before Amber had a chance to answer Kelly. "I've got myself a hot date. See you soon Amber!"

"Bye Shay." She smiled in amusement, watching as Shay disappeared down the hallway. She turned to Kelly. "Hot date eh, bet you wish you had one of those."

He laughed, climbing into bed with her. "I dunno, I mean I'd rather we were in your bed at home but this will do me for now."

She rested her head on his chest, listening to the sound of him breathing for a moment. "I'm sorry." She whispered eventually.

"Sorry for what?" He frowned, gently stroking her hair back away from her face.

What was she supposed to say? I'm sorry I killed our baby? I'm sorry I'm a drug addict? I'm sorry my psycho ex-husband is causing trouble? I'm sorry I'm such a mess I can't even make it through half a day without resorting for drugs? I'm sorry that all I want to do is go and get high?

The list was endless. In the end, she settled for pretending she'd fallen asleep to avoid having to answer him.

* * *

"Amber, wake up honey."

Her eyes flew open at the sound of the familiar voice and for a moment she wondered if she was hallucinating. "Mom?" Surely her mother wasn't actually stood there. What had happened to Kelly? He was there when she'd fallen asleep. Although the fact there was now daylight streaming in through her window suggested that had been quite a while ago.

"Oh sweetie, we've been so worried." Her Mom grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. "Whatever it is that's going on, why don't you just come home? I'm sure you can sort things out with Jack. He was so worried when he called us. I just don't understand why you wouldn't see him. Lord knows the man loves you."

"Mom." Amber tried to cut her off.

"And he stood by you, even after all that. Then you just disappear on him and run off to Chicago. I mean honestly Amber, you've done some things in your time but this is even more stupid than usual."

"Mom." Amber sighed. Her Mom finally stopped talking long enough for her to get a word in. "Is that why you're here? To try and get me to come home?"

Her Mom sighed, sitting down in the chair beside the bed. "Jack was worried, he flew all the way up here and then said you'd refused to see him. He thought maybe if I came and spoke to you I might be able to talk some sense into you."

"You spoke to Jack?" Amber asked, her stomach flipping.

Her Mom nodded. "He's been out of his mind with worry Amber, we all have."

"I'm fine Mom." Amber fought the urge to roll her eyes at her. "I like it here. I'm not coming home."

"You married him, Amber, he's been nothing but good to you and this is how you repay him. After everything that he's done for you?" Her Mom demanded. "He's a good man. Lord knows you haven't made any of this easy for him. Think what would've happened to your career if he hadn't made that car accident disappear and got you the help you needed."

Amber opened her mouth to argue with her and then stopped herself. This was half the reason she'd left in the first place. Her Mom had always been blind when it came to Jack. She just saw the charming detective who doted on her daughter, who'd been there with her through her rehab and picked up the pieces. She'd believed his lies every time he explained away the injuries he'd inflicted on Amber every time they'd had an accident. She couldn't see beyond the image he wanted her to see. Just like everyone else.

"I'm not going back to him, Mom." Amber sighed. "Why don't you go and ask him what really happened? Then maybe you'll understand."

Her Mom snorted with laughter. "From what I understand you took a job up here on a whim, snuck out while he was at work and now you're shacked up with some fireman. You're still married, Amber!"

"Not for much longer," Amber muttered.

Of course, Kelly chose this moment to turn up. "Hey, sorry I'm late. Shift ran over." He called cheerfully, walking into the room and sitting down on the edge of her bed before he even noticed the woman sitting in the chair beside the bed. "Sorry, I didn't know you had company." He looked at Amber, waiting for an explanation.

Amber took a deep breath, shifting uncomfortably as it tugged on her stitches, and tried to prepare herself for the rant her mother was most likely about to go on. "Kelly, this is my Mom."

A look of confusion flashed across Kelly's face for a moment, before he turned and smiled as he held his hand out to her Mom. "Kelly Severide."

"Rachel." Her Mom answered frostily, reluctantly shaking his hand. She turned and looked at her daughter. "And this must be the fireman I presume."

"Don't start, Mom," Amber warned her, watching her Mom look Kelly up and down.

"You do know she's married, right?" Rachel asked, looking back at Kelly. "Or is that what you do? Go around wrecking people's marriages."

"Excuse me?" Kelly asked, staring back at her and wondering if he'd actually heard her right.

"My daughter is coming back to Florida as soon as she's well enough," Rachel announced. "Now, could you give us a minute please?"

"I'm sorry." Amber mouthed as Kelly stood up uncertainly and headed for the door. She turned to her Mom. "Was that really necessary?"

"Yes, to be perfectly honest." Her Mom shot back. "Now, I'm booking you a flight back to Florida for as soon as you get out of here."

"No."

"I wasn't joking when I said it wasn't up for discussion." Rachel said, getting up.

"Where are you going now?" Amber asked.

"You know where I'm going." Her Mom called as she walked through the door. "To tell that fireman to leave my daughter alone."

"Mom!" Amber cried, struggling to get out of bed.

"You." Kelly spun around at the sound of a distinctly frosty voice behind him. "Stay away from my daughter."

"Excuse me?" Kelly asked, standing up a bit straighter.

"She's happily married. I don't know what this little blip that made her move up here was about, but believe me, it will pass. When she gets back home and remembers that she's got a wonderful husband who loves her she won't even remember that you exist."

"You've got to be kidding me," Kelly exclaimed. "You think she's going back to that guy after everything he did to her?"

"You don't know what you're talking about." Rachel shook her head at him. "My daughter is a drug addict and Jack has done nothing but look out for her through all of it. Even after everything she did."

"That might be what he told you, but have you actually asked her?" Kelly asked. "Because it sure as hell ain't the truth. Why do you think she went to all the effort of moving to the other end of the country to get away from him if he's such a good guy?"

"Kelly, please don't." Amber cried from the doorway, grasping at the door frame to try and keep herself upright. The room around her was spinning and the pain in her stomach had intensified to a whole new level but she had to stop him.

"Amber." He looked up at the sound of her voice and rushed over to her, just in time to catch her as her legs buckled and she lost her grip on the door. "What are you doing?"

"She doesn't know." She mumbled as he deposited her gently back on the bed. "I um... I never told her."

"You never told me what?" Rachel asked, standing in the doorway and watching disapprovingly as Kelly helped her daughter get comfortable on the bed again.

Amber was quiet for a moment, then looked up at Kelly with her eyes full of tears. "I can't do it, Kelly."

He squeezed her hand. "Do you want me to?"

She nodded a fraction, fidgeting in the bed as she tried to get herself relatively comfortable again. She definitely should not have tried to get up like that.

"Can I talk to you outside?" Kelly asked, turning back to Rachel. "Ten minutes, just hear me out."

"Please, Mom," Amber added when her Mom still didn't move.

Rachel nodded reluctantly. "Fine, but ten minutes is all you're going to get."

"I don't mean to be rude, but you're sure she's telling the truth?" Rachel asked, stirring her coffee again. She looked across the table at Kelly. "I love my daughter but she's an addict and she's very good at manipulating people."

"She's telling the truth." Kelly nodded. "I've seen what he did to her with my own eyes when he turned up here."

"Jack came up here?" Rachel asked, sounding surprised.

Kelly nodded. "Not long after Amber got here. He showed up at her place and they got into a big argument over something. I had to go and pick her up afterwards, she was a mess. We had to get the police to kick him out of her place."

"He didn't tell me that part," Rachel admitted. "Just said he'd had a call to say she was in the hospital and when he got here she refused to see him."

"He did turn up here then, one of the receptionists called him and the police came and asked him to leave. Is he back in Florida now?"

Rachel nodded. "He asked me to come and talk some sense into her. I presumed she was using again and that was what was going on."

"She's clean," Kelly said softly. "This was just one of those things. It's nothing she did."

"The baby." Rachel sighed. "Yours I presume?"

Kelly nodded, wondering for a moment if she was going to start shouting at him again.

"If she's adamant she wants to divorce him then I would've much rather she waited until that had actually gone through before finding herself someone new. It doesn't look great, does it?" Rachel sighed. "And Jack knows about you obviously."

Kelly nodded. "I know it's not ideal. It just sort of happened, but I love her. And I'll be here for her, whatever she needs."

"I just..." Ruth sighed. "I just can't imagine Jack doing that. He's always been so sweet. He loves her. How could that have been going on and I didn't even notice?"

"I can't answer that." Kelly shrugged. "But I'd bet you Amber will tell you its not your fault. It took me a while to figure out what was going on too."

"She's my daughter though," Rachel whispered. "And I honestly wouldn't have believed her if she'd told me."

"But you know the truth now," Kelly said softly. "And that's all that really matters."

Rachel was quiet for a moment. "I should go back and speak to her, apologise."

Kelly nodded, standing up. "Come on, she'll be wondering where we've got too."

Rachel hesitated for a moment, standing up and following him towards the elevator. "She's really lucky to have you, Kelly. I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I've never seen her look at Jack the way she looks at you."


	13. Chapter 13

It took a little over three months for Amber to start to feel almost normal again. The pain in her stomach had finally faded, Will had started weaning her off the painkillers as soon as possible and she was relieved when she'd finally stopped taking them last week. It felt like a weight had been lifted.

But things weren't back to normal. She wasn't sure when it had happened, or why exactly, but somewhere during all of this her and Kelly had drifted apart. They'd each been trying to process their grief for the baby that they hadn't known that they wanted or ever got to meet.

She'd realised early on that they were both doing the same thing, burying their grief in work. Kelly had been picking up extra shifts, teaching classes at the academy and even volunteered himself to work out of other houses a few times. Meanwhile, with Will not allowing her back into the OR until she was off all the painkillers Amber had thrown herself into her research project and been spending almost every waking hour in the lab. It hadn't left much time for each other.

She'd thought for a while about trying to speak to him about it but quickly scrapped that idea. She hadn't got a clue what to say to him. She could understand how he was feeling, or at least she thought she could, it was painful to think about never mind speak about. Did he blame her for what had happened the same way she blamed herself? She wasn't sure she wanted to hear the answer to that one. After all, he hadn't done anything. It was her who'd lost the baby, and maybe that was the reason why he could barely look her in the eye any more.

Apparently she wasn't the only one who had noticed. Amber had been down in the ER having been called to see a patient when Shay had spotted her sitting at the computer at the nurse's station.

"Hey Amber," Shay smiled, leaning against the nurse's station. "How are you doing? Feels like I haven't seen you in forever."

"I um..." She hesitated. The reason she hadn't seen Shay in forever was that she hadn't been to Kelly's place in a while. "I guess it has been a while."

"Everything okay with you and Kelly?" Shay asked, getting straight to the point as always.

Amber shifted uncomfortably under her friend's steady gaze. Shay already knew the answer to that so there was little point in trying to lie to her. "I don't know," She admitted quietly. "I feel like he's pushing me away."

Shay smiled sympathetically. "He's not good at things like this. Doesn't do emotions well at all."

"What am I supposed to do?" She asked, looking up at Shay helplessly.

Shay was quiet for a moment. "Honestly? If you want to talk to him about this then you're probably going to have to corner him and just get it out there. Otherwise, he'll just carry on avoiding you for as long as he can."

There was a long pause before Amber spoke again. "Do you... um... Do you think he blames me, for what happened?" She asked nervously.

"No way," Shay answered almost before Amber had finished asking the question. "I don't know what's going on in his head, but it's not that. You need to talk to him. Why don't you come to the firehouse later?"

"Okay." Amber nodded. "Thanks, Shay."

She felt slightly less confident about confronting him and tackling whatever was going on head-on as she walked into the firehouse five hours later. The absence of all of the trucks and the ambulance was a relief. It would give her a little time to work out what she was supposed to say to him. She made her way through the empty firehouse to his office and made herself comfortable on his bed to wait for him.

* * *

Kelly stifled a yawn as he wandered back through the firehouse. The exhaustion had set in while he was in the shower trying to wash the lingering smell of smoke off him. It had been a long day with more calls than he'd had in a while and he was praying the rest of the night would be quiet enough to let him get some sleep because he was dead on his feet.

He did a double-take when he walked into his office and found Amber curled up asleep in his bed. She was still dressed in her scrubs and looked like she'd come straight from work. He checked his phone to see if she'd called but he hadn't missed anything.

"Hey." He said, shaking her gently to wake her up. "What are you doing here Amber?"

She blinked at him sleepily, disorientated by waking up somewhere strange. "I came to see you and I must have fallen asleep." She mumbled.

"Everything okay?" Kelly asked as she pushed herself up into a sitting position and rubbed at her face sleepily.

She nodded, although the frown on her face suggested otherwise. "What's going on, Kelly?" She sighed. She'd had this whole speech prepared but in her half-awake state, she couldn't remember any of what she'd planned to say.

"Nothing's going on." He shrugged, sitting down on the other end of his bed. He refused to meet her eye, feeling her watching his face. Instead, he picked at a loose thread on his trousers.

"I think we both know that's not the truth." She said, watching his face carefully for some kind of reaction as she spoke. "What happened was... it was shitty and unfair... and I'm sorry."

His head snapped up. "Don't."

"Don't what?" She looked at him blankly.

"Don't apologise like it was your fault." He whispered. "I don't ever want you to think I blame you or think it was your fault."

She paused for a moment. "If that's the truth then why can't you even look me in the eye any more? This is the first time I've seen you in weeks, Kelly."

"I'm sorry." He mumbled. "I know I've been working a lot, but it's not about that."

"Well, what is it about then?" She asked, sitting up a little straighter.

He took a deep, shaky breath. "I kept thinking about the fact I could've lost you too. If I hadn't been stupid and got drunk that night, I wouldn't have said what I did and you wouldn't have been mad at me. I might've been there when you got sick and made you go to the hospital sooner and then-"

"Kelly." She interrupted him. She knew where this was going. "It wouldn't have mattered, nothing would have saved the baby. I asked Will the same question. And I'm here, I'm okay. If anything it's my own fault for not realising what was happening. I'm a doctor, I should know what sepsis looks like really."

Kelly was quiet for a moment. "It really wouldn't have made any difference?" He asked, his voice small.

She reached forward and took his hand. "None at all." She said softly. "It just wasn't meant to be."

"I keep thinking about what it would've been like." He admitted. "Me, you and our baby."

She rested her forehead on his shoulder. "Yeah, me too."

There was a long pause, his hands finding their way around her waist and pulling her towards him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you away. I'm not very good at this part."

"And what exactly is this part?" She asked.

"I love you, Amber. If something happened to you I'd..." He trailed off. "I've had a lot of one night stands and meaningless flings in my time and the idea of something real... It kind of freaked me out."

"You could've just said that." She joked. "Didn't need to make me think you'd changed your mind and decided you didn't want me after all."

"Never." He promised.

"Well, that's good, because my Mom called earlier."

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"My sister is getting married and she wanted to check if you were coming with me?" She looked at him hopefully. She wasn't going to mention that the original invitation had been for her and Jack.

"When?" He asked, looking surprised. She didn't very often talk about her sister.

"Next week." She explained. "But it's fine, you don't have to come. I did say to Mum I didn't think you would, especially as I wasn't even sure if you were actually talking to me earlier. So I'll just call her back and tell her you can't make it. I'll only be gone a couple of days." She rambled, wishing she'd never even brought it up.

"I didn't say I wasn't coming. Is it in Florida?" He asked. She nodded. "And when do you go?"

She thought for a moment. "I was going to fly down on Thursday and come home on the Monday?" She offered. "But it could be shorter? The wedding is on Saturday."

Kelly shook his head. "I'll speak to Chief but I think it'll be okay. I could really use the time off, I'm dead on my feet."

"You do look tired." She said softly, her fingers gently stroking the dark circles under his eyes.

"You know how to make a guy feel better about himself." He joked. "So this wedding, your family are going to be there?" He asked hesitantly.

She nodded. "Mom has told them Jack and I split up."

"You sure you want to go and have people asking questions?" He asked. It wasn't that he didn't want to go with her, quite the opposite actually, but he couldn't imagine having people asking questions about exactly what had happened with Jack was going to be much fun for her either.

"I can't hide out forever." She reasoned although the idea of it was making her feel sick. "She's my sister, I'm not going to miss her wedding because of what a few people might say."

"Okay then," He nodded. "That's settled, as long as Chief says yes we are booking flights to Florida."

"Where are you going?" She asked as he suddenly got up.

"To go and ask for the time off." He announced, disappearing out of the door.


	14. Chapter 14

"I hope your Mom is going to be a bit more friendly this time," Kelly muttered loading their suitcases into the back of the rental car.

Amber pulled a face. "She doesn't really do friendly, but she obviously likes you because you got invited... Don't know if that makes you feel any better?" She laughed.

"Not really. Should I be worried?" He shut the boot and climbed into the driver's side of the car.

She got into the passenger seat beside him. "You're about to meet pretty much my entire family all in one go. I'd be worried if I were you."

His eyes widened a fraction. "You tell me this _after _we get here."

"Too late to back out now." She laughed. "Come on, you'd better get driving. Mum's expecting us in time for dinner."

He started the engine, pulling out of the parking lot before glancing over at her. "I'm not very good at this whole meet the family thing." He warned her. "It's been a long time since I've met anyone's family."

She laughed, rolling her eyes at him. "Yeah, I'm sure meeting the parents wasn't high on your list of things to do when you were going through you man whore stage."

"Ouch." He winced. "Don't hold back."

"I'm kidding." She squeezed his thigh gently as he merged on to the highway. "I know this isn't really your thing, I owe you one for coming with me."

His hand came to rest over hers, which was still on his thigh, and he gave her hand a squeeze. "I meant what I said, I wouldn't miss it for the world." He didn't say it aloud, but he hoped that she knew that things were different with her. He'd changed, he wasn't the same guy he'd been back then when he'd had that endless stream of meaningless things. Now he actually wanted more.

* * *

She suspected that he might want to retract the statement that he wouldn't miss it for the world when they actually arrived at her parent's place. Her Mom had met them at the front door, bundling them both up into a hug.

"It's so good to have you home." Rachel grinned. "Come on, come in." She ushered them both inside.

"Hi Dad." Amber smiled, wrapping her arms around the older man who was waiting for them just inside the door. "Dad, this is Kelly." She pulled out of the hug and reached behind her to grab Kelly's hand.

"Nice to meet you." Her Dad smiled, stepping forward and holding his hand out to Kelly. "I'm Thomas."

Kelly shook his hand, mumbling a somewhat awkward greeting. What was he supposed to say?

"Why don't you two go and get unpacked?" Rachel suggested quickly, picking up on Kelly's discomfort which was clear to see on his face. "Your sister will be here soon for Dinner."

"Come on Kelly." Amber nodded, taking him by the hand. They each picked up their bags and headed up the stairs.

Once they were safely in her old bedroom with the door closed behind them she flopped down on the bed and pulled him down beside her. "I'm sorry about them," she whispered. "Mom can be a bit overwhelming, I know."

He shook his head. "They're lovely, it's not that."

She lifted her head a fraction to look at him. "Well, what is going on in that head of yours?"

He was quiet for a moment, opening his mouth to speak and then closing it again as he tried to find the right words. "I don't know. I was just thinking I guess. You've got this whole other life here that I know nothing about. You've got a family who love you and instead you're stuck at the other end of the country."

"Firstly, I'm not stuck anywhere." She reminded him. "I chose to move to Chicago, I chose to stay. My mom and Dad understand it. Yeah, I miss my family but it doesn't mean I want to come back her either."

"I know... it's just seeing you here with them." He sighed. "You must miss them."

"I do." She smiled. "But by the end of this weekend Mom will have driven me insane again and I'll be ready to get away again." She laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

He looked far from convinced. "I'm going to get all the stories from your Mom about what a young Amber Wright was like." He laughed, deciding to change the subject for now.

Amber groaned. "You won't even have to ask, she's probably getting the photo albums out as we speak."

She sat up straight so she could look at him, turning serious again. "I love you, Kelly. I'm really glad that you came."

"Me too." He said softly, leaning over to kiss her.

* * *

"I've learned a lot about you tonight." He laughed, raising an eyebrow at her.

"My Mom does love to tell an embarrassing story." Amber cringed. She literally hadn't been able to shut her Mom up during dinner, then her sister had joined in too telling Kelly all kinds of stories about what she'd got up to in her teenage years.

He squeezed her hand a little tighter as they walked hand in hand down the beach. She'd missed it there, it was home. No matter how much she loved Chicago, Florida would always be home.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked. "You've got that look on your face again."

She rolled her eyes at him, stopping to sit down on the soft sand and pulling him down next to her. The sun was just starting to dip below the horizon sending the sky a warm shade of orange. "There's a lot of memories here." She told him quietly, her thumb absentmindedly tracing across the back of his hand.

It was the truth. A lot had happened in that small town. She'd grown up there, gone to school and had all kinds of happy memories of her childhood in. But, it was also the place where she'd been at her absolute lowest throughout the worst points with Jack.

"I used to sneak out and come and sit down here to watch the sunrise." She explained, her voice not raised much more than a whisper. "When he got so drunk he'd finally pass out on the sofa and leave me alone this is where I'd come. I'd sit and watch the sunrise and try and remind myself it was a new day and maybe things wouldn't be so bad. Once I'd got my shit together I'd go home and go back to him. I did it every day for months."

She heard Kelly's sharp intake of breath, but she was too afraid to look at him. Jack was still a topic that was very much off limits for them usually.

She pointed at a rocky headland, just visible in the distance in the fading light. "That's where he proposed to me, right over there." She said quietly, the sadness evident in her voice. "I was so happy. I thought we were going to grow old together, raise a family together." A tear rolled slowly down her cheek.

He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her tightly towards him. "It's okay." He soothed. "It's going to feel weird being back here. You've got a lot of history here."

"I just hope I don't run in to him." She sighed, finally admitting the thing that had been playing on her mind ever since she'd agreed to attend the wedding.

"He lives close to here?" Kelly asked, sitting up a little straighter and glancing around the deserted beach.

Amber nodded. "That house over there." She pointed in to the distance towards the headland where a small house with the lights on was just visible. "That's our house."

"Does he know you're here?" Kelly asked, still looking around the beach. He was a lot less relaxed now she'd told him this.

Amber shrugged. "He knows about the wedding. It's been planned for months. He was supposed to come with me."

"You don't have to see him." Kelly said confidently. "If he shows up I'll make sure of it."

She shook her head. "He's not stupid enough to turn up at my parents house. My Dad would kill him long before you had the chance."

"Good." Kelly relaxed slightly.

"But I need to go and talk to him." She hesitated to say it out loud, knowing what Kelly's reaction was likely to be.

"You what?" He wasn't sure he'd heard her right.

"I got the divorce papers drawn up before we left Chicago." She explained, her fingers moving to the area that used to be occupied by her wedding ring.

Kelly shook his head. "You can mail them to him. You don't need to see him."

"I do." She said softly. "I need to talk to him Kelly, I need some closure."

"I'm not going to be able to stop you, am I?" He sighed eventually.

* * *

"Morning, Kelly." Rachel smiled, pouring a mug of coffee and holding it out to him. "Did you sleep okay?"

He nodded, rubbing a hand over his face trying to shift the sleepiness. He hadn't slept that well for a long time and it seemed he'd needed it. "I did, thanks. Is Amber around?" He asked. He'd woken up alone this morning.

"She went out for a run. She won't be long." Rachel explained. "She told me to be nice to you while she's gone."

Kelly laughed quietly.

"I did want to talk to you though." Rachel said, turning serious as she leaned against the kitchen counter.

"That sounds ominous." He joked.

"I wanted to thank you, for everything you've done for my daughter." She said softly. "I've never seen her so happy. I thought she was happy with Jack, but seeing the way she looks at you compared to him... it's made me realise that he doesn't even come close to what the two have you have got... I should've seen what he was doing to her and stopped it but... but I just couldn't see it at the time."

"It's not your fault." Kelly smiled kindly. "I think if Amber has decided she doesn't want you to know about something then you're never going to find out. She's very good at hiding things when she wants to."

Rachel was quiet for a moment. "Don't give up on her, Kelly. She won't always be easy and sometimes it'll seem like it's more hassle than it's worth but I can tell she loves you."

"I love her too." He said softly. "I'm not going anywhere."


	15. Chapter 15

Kelly let out a low whistle as Amber walked out of the bathroom dressed for the wedding.

She laughed, doing a twirl so he could fully appreciate the outfit. The pale blue dress clung to her body in all the right places, the back dipping down to halfway down her back. His fingers cane to trail over the exposed skin for a moment. "You look gorgeous." He grinned. He was a lucky man, there was no denying that.

"You don't scrub up too bad yourself." She smiled, straightening his tie a fraction. There was no denying that he looked good in a suit.

He lifted his hand a fraction as if to cup her face and she quickly swatted him away. "This took _hours _Kelly. No touching!"

He held his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay." He laughed. "But that rule doesn't apply once the wedding is over, right?" He asked, his voice low in her ear and his fingertips skating over the exposed skin on her back in a way that sent a shiver down her spine.

"Kelly." She warned. "Don't start something you can't finish."

His lips nipped at her neck. "Who says I can't finish it?" He murmured.

She tried to muster some willpower to stop him, knowing full well where this was going if she didn't put a stop to it soon. "My Mom." She sighed, glancing at her watch. "We were supposed to leave five minutes ago."

He lingered for a moment, then lifted his head and put his hands back on her hips. "I'll behave myself." He smirked, seeing the blush on her cheeks. "For now anyway..."

She laughed, rolling her eyes at him before grabbing him by the hand and dragging him out of the bedroom before he could try to protest.

* * *

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist as he rested his chin on her shoulder. She'd been quiet all afternoon, a distant expression on her face as she'd watched the ceremony. That same expression had crept back in now as she watched the bride and groom dancing.

She leaned back against him, her hands coming to rest over the top of his. "Just thinking about things." She answered non-commital, not sure she wanted to tell him what was actually going on in her head.

"And those things are?" He pushed.

"She looks so happy," Amber mumbled, looking back over at her sister.

"They both do," Kelly agreed. He didn't know Amber's sister Lucy or her new husband Chris particularly well, but he could see from watching them over the last couple of days that they really loved each other.

"I wonder if Jack and I looked that happy." She whispered, talking to herself more than him. "I felt that happy, it felt like we were going to be together forever."

He didn't know what he was supposed to say to that, so instead, he stayed quiet and waited to see if she was going to offer anything else. They still hadn't really talked about Jack, he wasn't sure if she was avoiding talking about him because it would upset her, or because she thought it was going to upset him. Either way, apart from the brief conversation on the beach the night before, he had hardly been mentioned since he'd left Chicago.

He didn't realise she was crying until she drew in a shaky breath and wiped her eyes. "Why don't we go outside and get some air?" He suggested, taking her by the hand and leading her towards the exit.

It was much quieter outside, the majority of the guests were still inside finishing up the food and watching the dancefloor. There were a couple of people outside chatting at the other end of the terrace, but other than that they had it to themselves.

"I'm sorry," She mumbled, trying to wipe her eyes without smudging her make up. "I'm not much fun these days."

He pulled her into his arms again, looking down at her and trying to read her face. "Hey, you don't ever have to apologise," he said softly. "What's going on?"

"I don't know," She mumbled. "It's just...

"It's just..." He encouraged.

"I don't know if I can ever see myself being that happy again... It's like... It's like there's this cloud hanging over everything I do. I love you Kelly, and I want to be that happy with you... I just don't know if I can do it. I'm going to end up screwing it up and that's not fair on you."

"Hey.." He interrupted her before she could go any further. "It's okay." He wasn't sure where all this was coming from, thought maybe they'd finally worked through all this, but maybe not.

"I spoke to Jack this morning." She admitted eventually, looking down and straightening his tie to avoid his eye.

He let out a breath. That would certainly explain this sudden outburst. "And?"

"And I'm supposed to be meeting him at the house tomorrow to pick up the last of my things and get him to sign the divorce papers." She sighed.

"Did he give you a hard time about it?" Kelly asked. He couldn't imagine Jack would've taken too kindly to the suggestion that their marriage was over for good.

Amber shook her head. "No, he didn't actually. I was surprised." She looked back up at him. "I'm not saying that I don't want the divorce, I do. I want to be with you, I'm the happiest I've been in a long time it's just... I don't know how it ended up here." She turned around and pointed to where her sister was dancing with her husband the other side of the glass doors. "Because ten years ago that was me... I was that happy and now he's going to sign this paper and it's all going to be gone."

"Well..." Kelly said slowly, trying to pick his words carefully. "If he didn't give you a hard time about it then maybe he's realised that this is for the best."

"The last time the whole family was together like this, it was my wedding." She admitted. "I feel like they're all looking at me and judging me. I mean I have no idea what Mom told them about Jack and me but it wouldn't have been the truth."

He smiled sympathetically. "Why do you care what they all think? you're happy and that's all that matters."

She didn't get a chance to answer him, being interrupted as the door to the terrace swung open and an older lady walked out and made a beeline for them. "Amber, is that you?"

Amber disentangled herself from Kelly's arms and turned towards the older woman. "Hey, Aunt Margret." She forced a smile, hoping it wasn't too obvious that she'd been crying.

"Oh, it's so good to see you!" Margret grinned, wrapping her niece up in a hug. "I almost didn't recognise you."

"It's been a long time." Amber nodded in agreement.

"Where's that dashing policeman husband of yours?" Margret asked, looking Kelly up and down before turning back to Amber.

Amber shifted uncomfortably. "I thought Mom would've told you, Jack and I split up."

Judging by the look on Aunt Margaret's face her Mom definitely hadn't told her. "Oh, Amber that's terrible. He was such a sweet man. I see you haven't wasted any time moving on." She looked over at Kelly again with thinly veiled disgust. "Poor Jack must be devastated."

"Don't you dare try and blame her." Kelly shot back at her, his voice loud enough that it caused a couple of other people outside to turn and stare at them.

"Kelly, please." Amber pleaded. "Not here."

"I'm at you Amber, I thought you were better than that." Aunt Margaret muttered, shaking her head disapprovingly before turning and going back inside.

Kelly and Amber stood in silence for a moment. Then she wiped her eyes once more and grabbed him by the hand, pulling him towards the door.

"Where are we going?" He asked, looking at her blankly.

"We are going to dance," She answered, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I'm going to forget about Jack and the rest of them, for tonight anyway. I just want to enjoy being here with you. Okay?"

"Okay." He nodded in agreement. "Let's go."

He led her back inside and they quickly mingled with those on the now crowded dancefloor. Her arms wound around his neck as he held her waist and pulled her closer to him. She smiled up at him as they began to sway slowly in time with the music.

* * *

"Ugh... what time is it?" Kelly groaned, throwing his arm over his eyes to shield his eyes from the light. His mouth was drier than a desert and his head was pounding.

She laughed, prodding him in the ribs. "Half-past ten... feeling the after-effects this morning are we, Severide?"

He groaned again, pushing himself up into a sitting position. "I haven't had a hangover this bad in years."

She smirked. "Thought you might be." She passed him a glass of water and a couple of Advil. "Doctors orders."

"I didn't think I'd had that much to drink." He muttered, quickly swallowing the tablets.

"Well, you were drinking my drinks too." She reminded him. "Like a true gentleman."

"Ah..." He suddenly remembered sitting at the table with Amber's cousins, who'd kept buying them both shots and Amber swapping her full glass for Kelly's empty one every time her cousin turned away. "That would certainly explain it."

"I don't know if it'll help, but I love you for it." She smiled. It had been much easier than trying to explain the whole addiction thing and why she was trying to give up drinking as well to her cousins that she very rarely saw.

"It helps." He laughed. "What time are we going?"

Amber's stomach flipped nervously at the thought. "I'm supposed to meet Jack at 11... our flight home is at three."

"I'd better get up then," Kelly muttered, bracing himself for what moving was likely to do to his already raging headache.

"Go and shower, it might make you feel a bit better," Amber suggested. "I'll go make some breakfast and meet you downstairs."


End file.
